Lane Kiffin Has 126 Problems

Lane Kiffin has certainly made a splash in his short time in the SEC coaching ranks. Wait, before I go any further let's get a little background music going...



Anyway, his newest cannonball into the SEC pool produced allegations that Florida coach Urban Meyer "cheated" while trying to recruit Nu'Keese Richardson. Exactly what did Kiffin say?

"I'm gonna turn Florida in right here in front of you," Kiffin said, according to WVLT-TV. "While Nu'Keese was on campus, his phone kept ringing. One of the coaches says, 'who's that?' And he said, 'Urban Meyer.' "

Unfortunately for Kiffin, and the UT fans that rallied around his statement, there is no rule against that type of contact. NCAA and SEC officials confirmed that this afternoon.

So, not only did Kiffin try to pull a bitch move by "outting" Meyer over supposed cheating, but he did so without even being fully aware of what the rule did and did not prohibit. Now, he just looks like jackass, and has given Meyer and his team, you know the ones that won the SEC and the BCS last year, early bulletin board material for that September 19 showdown in Gainesville.

The Gators will be looking to extend their winning streak to four consecutive against the Vols, and Kiffin will probably be hoping that Meyer doesn't add too many more digits to those 126 problems that he's already dealing with. And exactly what are the 126 problems? That's the number of points that the Gators have totalled over that four game win streak, outscoring the Vols 126-53.

Welcome to the SEC, Lane. Try not to let your mouth write checks that your ass can't cash.

The Problem With This Year's (Not So) Super Bowl Ending

By now, I'm sure you've read or heard all about how the Super Bowl ended with a controversial call. In case you didn't get to see it I've posted it below.



The biggest problem with the officials seemingly not reviewing a crucial call late in the game(eventhough, they said there was a quick look in the booth) is that it pushes many of the casual observers over to the Cardinal's side of the argument.

There were probably quite a few NFL fans watching who really didn't care which team won the Super Bowl. However, when the Warner "fumble" wasn't reviewed those same fans realized that it could have very well been their team(well, except for you Detroit fans) getting screwed, and they threw their support behind Arizona and the outcry from its fanbase.

I thought it was eerily similar to the Brady "Tuck Rule" play, and that it warranted a look under the hood by the refs. When I saw Pittsburgh snap the ball before any review I was a little bit shocked. Though, after a season that featured quite a few controversial calls I probably shouldn't be surprised that the season ended this way.

The Quiet Stars of The UF BCS Win

For much of this(and last) season, most of the focus on UF's offense was on their proverbial homerun hitters. Tebow, Harvin, Rainey, Demps, James, Cooper, etc. Until Harvin's injury, wide receiver Louis Murphy wasn't mentioned all that often, and David Nelson was doing a great impression of the Invisible Man. However, when their team needed them most they showed up in a big way.

Against the Oklahoma Sooners in the BCS Title Game, Murphy and Nelson accounted for 12 of UF's 24 points. Murphy caught Tebow's first TD pass to put the Gators ahead 6-0, and Nelson caught Tebow's 2nd pass to basically ice the game at 23-14 with 3:00 left in the 4th quarter.

It was great to see these two players impact such a big game in such a big way, and for Murhpy it was an awesome way for him to close out his senior season in Gainesville.

Superman Returns

At the BCS celebration in Gainesville today Tim Tebow let the college football world know what his NFL decision was, and he's decided to return for his senior season.

Florida junior quarterback Tim Tebow made the announcement all
Gator fans wanted to hear on Sunday. After his speech he turned around and said,
"Oh and one more thing, let's do it again. I'm coming back!"

Personally, I am a little surprised because he doesn't really have anything left to prove at the college level. Two BCS titles and a Heisman really speak for themselves. Hopefully he doesn't take too much punishment next season because I would hate to see him get injured. Though, it is going to be great to see him donning the orange and blue for one more year.

I haven't heard any word on if Harvin and Spikes will return or not.

Everyday UF Is Hustlin'

Yes, that is a shitty screen capture, but thanks to FOX's reluctance to replay any game action at all it's the best I have. Anyway, it's Torrey Davis doing his very best Rick Ross impersonation. Which is fitting because the game was played in Miami, and the Sooners got hustled. Check out Davis around the 1:00 mark where he shows Bob Stoops that he's tha boss.

Florida's Speed Alters Time, Causes Large Scores

Last Saturday's game against South Carolina was a blowout. The Gators put up half-a-hundred on the Gamecocks, and thoroughly destroyed their highly ranked defense. However, it wasn't quite as a big of a beatdown as the Orlando Sentinel would like you to believe.

Yes, it did feel like the Gators scored 423 points, but in reality it was only 56. Sadly, it probably felt like 500 points to the OBC.

Motherf@ckin' Computers

I know that the BCS is not a perfect system. I know that right now it's the best we have. However, I can't say that I was exactly happy when I pulled up the latest standings and saw Florida sitting at #4.

I understand that if they win out, including a victory in the SEC title game against an unbeaten Alabama squad, they should play for the BCS Championship. I also understand that Texas lost to the current #2 team in the country, and that Florida's loss came at home against a middle of the road Ole Miss team. Those things I won't dispute.

However, what are the fucking computers doing ranking Utah at #4, and putting Oklahoma and Florida tied at 5th?

Seriously, Utah?

They play the 55th toughest schedule, and didn't beat their first ranked opponent, TCU(#11), until this past Saturday. In the 10th game of the season.

Obviously someone somewhere has a love affair with teams that "crash" the BCS. Hopefully they open one of those "A Card From Your Best Friend" e-mails, and their computer crashes next week.

We're Gonna Tase You Bro!

Women wielding tasers is nothing new. Just think of them as the 21st century version of mace, or a well-placed knee to the crotch.

However, at least one of the females attending this party looks be readying herself for what could be a contentious finish to the college football season.

So, just remember that if you're the fan of a 1-loss team at the end of the season, and you don't think that the woman wearing orange and blue is serious about the electrical damage she's threatening to inflict, she most certainly is. And she's been practicing.

Ohio State Buckeyes: Still Having Problems Winning The Big One

Back-to-back drubbings in the BCS Championship Game, and now this.

Over the past few days you've probably heard about "Joe the Plumber". Well, it appears that Joe is a Buckeyes fan, and that he's supporting John McCain in the presidential election. If the polls finish the way they stand today, then that means that 'ole Joe will have seen the "team" that he backed in the "big game" go 0-3.

Though, if the BCS has taught us anything it's that the polls can look a lot different week to week.

Mr. Laybourn And His Football Ascot Are Here To Crash Your Party

The scene: Approximately three minutes left in the fourth quarter of the USC/Oregon State game. The Trojans are trailing by 7 points, and USC quarterback Mark Sanchez is preparing to lead his team on the tying drive. USC is ready to score and party on as #1. Until Greg Laybourn shows up.

Sanchez: Alright guys we have to get into the end zone, so we can go home, get to bed as the unanimous #1 and allow Coach Carroll to rack up his 15 minutes of sleep.

USC Offense: We hear ya. Let's get this shit over with, and hope that we can hang on to #1.

Greg Laybourn: Excuse me fellas, do you mind if I join you at your wonderful party?

USC: Uhhh, why don't you take your ascot and get the hell off of our field? Haven't you heard the hype? We're one of the best teams of all time.

Laybourn: Ascot? Why just for that I'm going to take your...uh....uh...actually, I'll take this motherfucking football thank you very much!

Laybourn snatches a Sanchez pass out of the air, and returns the interception back to the USC 2-yard line.

USC: Ahhhhh! Sonuvabitch! Not again!

Coach Carroll: [/tears][/does brain yoga to calm soul]

Oregon State: Screw you USC! We upset you yet again. Choke on our ascots!

Proof, that you should never fuck with a man wearing an ascot.