Javon Walker Has No Recollection Of That Wild Ride, Sir

Last week, Broncos' wide receiver Javon Walker was found beaten and unconscious on a street in Las Vegas. No one really knew what happened; though, some of the rumors floating around were pretty "out there"(Cristal wars, Floyd Mayweather thugs, oh my!). Even Walker himself didn't really seem to remember what went done, as was conveyed through his not so in-depth interview with TheDirty.com(via Deadspin):

"I was just back at my room and at about 5:30 in the morning I got a knock at the door. I opened it and 3 guys with guns were there. They cracked me in the head a few times, knocking me unconscious. They then robbed me of everything I had; my watch, money, everything! Somehow they got me to a car and dropped me off in the street. That’s what happened."

That sounds incredibly devious! Those rapscallions assaulted Mr. Walker then drove him from the scene of the crime! Wait, that's not exactly how it happened? Hmm, you don't say. Well, you might not, but Las Vegas Police Lieutenant Clinton Nichols does:

Las Vegas police have made an arrest in the robbery and beating case involving NFL player Javon Walker.

Lt. Clinton Nichols said Tuesday that 30-year-old Arfat Fadel is suspected of multiple felonies including kidnapping and robbery. Police said Fadel was arrested Friday and police were looking for a second suspect.

Nichols said police believe the second man is still in Las Vegas.

He said the 29-year-old Walker got into a vehicle with the two men early June 16 before he was found beaten and unconscious on a side street near the Las Vegas Strip.

That's quite a bit different than the account that Mr. Walker gave. Though, whenever you get your ass kicked you're probably going to want to make it sound as dangerous as you possibly can.

Todd Sauerbrun Is At It Again

Todd Sauerbrun, the juicing punter who refused to kick away from Devin Hester and paid the price, is back in the news. This time it's for assaulting a cab driver.

Denver police said Sauerbrun was cited for simple assault early Saturday after an altercation with a cab driver.

Surprisingly, I have a transcript here of how the whole thing went down. What follows may or may not be true.

Sauerbrun: Hey buddy, I just wanted to let you know up front that I won't be paying for this cab ride.

Cabbie: Yeah, ok. Where ya headed?

Sauerbrun: Seriously, I'm not going to pay.

Cabbie: Whatever. Look do you need me to drive you somewhere or not asshole?

Sauerbrun: Yes. I need to go to this address(hands cabbie slip of paper).

Cabbie: Ok. What does this say? Dr. Amesjay Ortshay? That's a weird name.

Sauerbrun: Yes, he's Middle Eastern. Now could you please step on it? I need to get something from him immediately.

They arrive at the destination, and Sauerbrun leaves for a few minutes. He soon returns with a small package.

Sauerbrun: Alright, let's get outta here. I've got some chicks waiting for me at home. It's #10 Dooshbagg Ct.

Cabbie: No problem.

The cabbie gets Sauerbrun home, and waits to be paid.

Sauerbrun: Sorry man. I told ya I wasn't going to pay upfront. And if you know me, then you know that I make good on those statements no matter what the consequences.

The cabbie hops out with a blackjack, and starts advancing towards Sauerbrun.

Cabbie: Listen, you punk motherfucker. I'm gonna get my money, or I'm going to kick your ass. It's your choice.

Sauerbrun grabs a rock, and hurls it wildly at the cabbie hitting his foot. He then turns and runs toward his front door.

Sauerbrun: Screw you cabbie!

Cabbie: What an idiot. I've got his name and address. Time to call my lawyer. I'm rich bitch!

As you can clearly see, Sauerbrun was up to his latest douchetastic tricks. It appears that the cabbie has a valid complaint, and he'll probably get paid. Maybe that will teach Sauerbrun not to make irresponsible decisions.

Allen Iverson Definitely Made The Right Choice With Basketball

Yesterday, a jury awarded Marlin Godfrey $260,000 as a result of the pain and suffering and medical bills he incurred after being beaten by Iverson's bodyguard Jason Kane in July 2005.

Godfrey and his friend, David Kittrell, were assaulted by Iverson's entourage after they refused to leave the VIP section that had been reserved for Iverson at the Washington nightclub, Eyebar. Iverson was included because:

"The lawsuit said Iverson was responsible for the brawl because he failed to properly supervise Kane and Williams - but it did not claim he took part in the fight. The suit also accused Kane of assault and battery for allegedly beating Godfrey with items that included a bottle."

This is the same trial that the plaintiff's legal team was going to call 50 Cent in as a character witness against the security guards involved. However, 50 argued successfully that he couldn't be called to testify since he wasn't involved in the fight or named in the lawsuit. 50 Cent as a character witness? That's a new legal strategy.

While this lawsuit has been resolved, don't confuse it with the other one from 2005 that involves four plaintiffs. They allege that Iverson hired a "security" team with people that he knew had a propensity for violence. Allegedly they were leaving "Crabber's", a restaurant/sports bar in Hampton, Va., when they were attacked by Iverson's security detail for the night, also known as "The Horsemen". Each plaintiff in that case is seeking $600,000 in damages.

Imagine if Iverson had gone the football route instead of basketball. Right now he would probably be looking at a multi-game suspension with the possibility of more games being added. NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell would have already lectured him about wasting his opportunity to play pro ball, and he would be calling up PacMan to see if he could get on that suspended stars flag football team.

Instead, since he's in the NBA, there's a good chance Iverson won't miss any games next season. Looks like he did make the right choice in choosing basketball.

David Kircus Would Like To Take Your Order

This folks, is David Kircus. Some of you may know him as a wide receiver for the Denver Broncos. Others may know him from his days at Grand Valley State(Go Lakers!). And still others may know him from the time he asked them "do you want fries with that?"

"Kircus, who resumed his NFL career last season after spending a year away from football working in a fast-food shop, is free on $6,000 bail. If convicted, he could be sentenced to two to six years in prison."

I'm not trying to belittle the service that fast-food workers provide(I wouldn't be the person I am today without some of those late night Taco Bell trips). However, when you go from making $200k a year playing in the NFL to flipping burgers, then back to the NFL, you probably shouldn't engage in behavior(like breaking a guy's face) that could get you kicked off of the team.

Besides, playing the NFL has to be the safer of the two options now that Marcus Vick is out of the league, and free to visit any fast food restaurant at any time.

Justin Miller, Great A Returning Kicks, Not So Much At Throwing Punches

You would think that with NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell's zero tolerance approach to enforcing the league's conduct policy that NFL players would do their best to avoid engaging in any type of unlawful behavior. The Jets' Justin Miller, however did his best on Saturday night to incur the full wrath of Goodell.

Apparently, Miller was engaged in an altercation of some type with another man when he felt that it would be a good idea to take a swing at said individual. Miller, however seems to not be quite as skilled at throwing punches as he is at returning kicks and ended up hitting a woman when the man ducked. I guess that Miller fled the scene because according to the AP report "he was apprehended following a police chase at 4:20 a.m.".

Someone should get Mike Vick's attorneys on the phone, and let them know they need to update their NFL Personal Conduct Policy violators list. Oh yeah, three phrases that are never good to hear when you're trying to explain what happened are "charged with third-degree assault", "hit the woman when the man ducked out of the way" and "apprehended following a police chase".

Have fun in Principal Goodell's office Justin! With any luck you'll just get eraser duty, and be back in time for field day.