Tank Johnson, Craving Some More Of That Jailhouse Jerky

While Tank Johnson was serving his time in the clink it became known that he very much enjoyed eating junk food. Especially beef jerky. You would think that after serving his two months he would realize how unpleasant county lockup is. However, it seems that Tank has a craving for some more of those beef sticks, and he'll do whatever it takes to get them. Including, possibly heading back to jail.

Friday morning, at 3:30AM, Johnson was pulled over in Arizona for doing 40mph in a 25mph zone. Police suspected that he was driving impaired so they took a blood sample.

Police in the Phoenix suburb of Gilbert said Johnson was stopped for driving 40 mph in a 25 mph zone at 3:30 a.m. Friday and the officer made observations that led him to believe Johnson was impaired.

Sgt. Andrew Duncan, a police spokesman, said Johnson was arrested for "DUI Impaired to the Slightest Degree" but was released without being booked or charged.

Duncan said Johnson was taken to the Gilbert police station, where officials drew blood for a blood-alcohol content test before his release. He described Johnson as "very cooperative."

Whether or not Johnson was only "slightly impaired"(what the hell does that even mean anyway?), doesn't really matter. Any evidence of him driving under the influence won't make commissioner Roger Goodell a happy man, and Johnson's 8 game suspension could be increased. Goodell had stated that Johnson's half-season suspension could be reduced to six games if he had "no further involvement with law enforcement", but that seems unlikely now.

So now we get to wait and see what Johnson's BAC level was, and what type of charges the police in Arizona decided to pursue. After all, doing 40mph in a 25mph zone isn't exactly a light charge. Oh well, at least Tank can look forward to getting some more of his favorite junk food, including all the jailhouse jerky he can handle.

Bengals Fans Just Aren't Having A Good Year

This past weekend, another Cincinnati Bengals player was arrested, the 10th this offseason, and this morning, the decision to dismiss a lawsuit pertaining to the financing of Paul Brown Stadium was upheld.

Back in 1996, "voters approved a half-cent sales tax hike for the $450 million Paul Brown Stadium". However, an anti-trust suit was filed in 2003 claiming that taxpayers and officials had been forced into approving the funding with the threat of the Bengals leaving Cincinnati if a new stadium wasn't built.

The problem is that there is a four year statue of limitations attached to cases like that, and the suit was filed three years too late. It was dismissed without county officials' being able to state their case that they were "victimized by monopoly power".

In his ruling, Judge Jeffrey Sutton said:

"The only thing worse than having a losing team is having no team-- no team for the community and its political leaders to support and no reason to say: 'There's always next year.'"

What about a team that's had close to 1/5 of its players arrested? I'm sure that some Bengals fans wish they didn't have a team this offseason, and if the arrests keep up they might not have a team to field "next year". Unless the fans feel like making a visit to the county lockup. With any luck, Judge Sutton will have some of those Bengals players make appearances in his court so he can tell them how great they are no matter if they're winning, losing, driving under the influence, puking out of car windows or being drunk and disorderly.

Justin Miller, Great A Returning Kicks, Not So Much At Throwing Punches

You would think that with NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell's zero tolerance approach to enforcing the league's conduct policy that NFL players would do their best to avoid engaging in any type of unlawful behavior. The Jets' Justin Miller, however did his best on Saturday night to incur the full wrath of Goodell.

Apparently, Miller was engaged in an altercation of some type with another man when he felt that it would be a good idea to take a swing at said individual. Miller, however seems to not be quite as skilled at throwing punches as he is at returning kicks and ended up hitting a woman when the man ducked. I guess that Miller fled the scene because according to the AP report "he was apprehended following a police chase at 4:20 a.m.".

Someone should get Mike Vick's attorneys on the phone, and let them know they need to update their NFL Personal Conduct Policy violators list. Oh yeah, three phrases that are never good to hear when you're trying to explain what happened are "charged with third-degree assault", "hit the woman when the man ducked out of the way" and "apprehended following a police chase".

Have fun in Principal Goodell's office Justin! With any luck you'll just get eraser duty, and be back in time for field day.