Stampeding Horses? Get Your Bite On!

Remember when horses were giant, majestic creatures that seemed to pose no harm to humans? We rode them off into sunsets, and did our very best to mend their injured hooves(Grow hoof! Grow!). Now they're all wild, with their stampedes and such.

"Doug Sauter, who coaches the Oklahoma City Blazers of the Central Hockey League, was at the fair Saturday attending the Centennial Expo's Draft Horse Show when he saw a Belgian horse break free from its reins. That caused a chain reaction that spooked other horses, he said Monday."

But have no fear because Coach Sauter knew exactly how to stop those wild horses, and surprisingly it didn't involve a firearm, taser or lasso.

"The coach of Oklahoma City's minor-league hockey team helped prevent a possible stampede of Belgian horses at the Oklahoma State Fair by biting one of the animals on its ear.

He bit the ear of one of the spooked horses to stop it from stampeding.

"That's how you stymie a horse," he said.

"You bite as hard as you can, and it won't move."

Obviously it's Sauter's glorious mustache that's given him all of these mystical powers. Though, it's unfortunate that he wasn't contacted to help heal Barbaro. Because if his bite can stop a horse, his kiss would definitely cure it of laminitis.

J.J. Redick Destroys NBA Superstar Jeff Burton In A Game Of "Horse"

Oh, you haven't heard of the NBA superstar Jeff Burton? Maybe that's because he drives a car in the NASCAR series. Though, that didn't stop Orlando guard J.J. Redick from throwing down on him in a game of "horse".

Actually, the game of "horse" was modified into a game of "DAYTONA" since it was part of a promotion(press release here) for the upcoming Pepsi 400 race at Daytona International Speedway. By all accounts Redick unsurprisingly beat Burton, though Burton did manage to give Redick a "D". However, it seems that Redick took this game pretty seriously as he was dunking as part of his shot selection.

"When Redick dunked or nailed a deep three-pointer, Burton wisely surrendered his option to Magic community-relations ambassador Nick Anderson."

Ok, I can understand shooting three-pointers, but dunking? Come on, Burton is a 5'7" NASCAR driver. You can see the difference in height between him and the 6'4" Redick in these photos of the event.

Though, with the limited minutes he played during his rookie season I guess Redick's got to showcase his skills at all times. As long as they were keeping him from drinking some white wine spritzers, and climbing behind the wheel of one of those NASCARs I would consider this promotion a success. And, as always, welcome to Orlando J.J.!

Chad Johnson Versus A Horse? Break A Leg Ocho Cinco!

Chad Johnson, NFL touchdown celebration innovator, is getting ready to add another sport to his resume.

Horseracing.

Except this time he will actually be running against the horse. On foot.

Next weekend, June 9 at River Downs in Cincinnati, Ocho Cinco will be running a foot(hoof?)race against a 4-yr old colt named Restore The Road for charity. Due to the two leg advantage, Johnson will be running 1/16 of a mile and the horse will run 1/8 of a mile. Johnson hasn't said if he has any type of celebration planned, though I'm betting on him either knocking the horse out or finally pulling out the reindeer suit.

The jockey, Patricia "PJ" Cooksey, that will be riding Restore the Road actually beat Cris Collinsworth on a horse named Mr. Hurry in a man vs. horse race a little over twenty years ago. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to find any video of that classic match-up.

Part of the proceeds will be going to coach Marvin Lewis' foundation which I'm guessing probably doesn't support the Cincinnati Police.

I really wish they would have found a horse named "Hugh", and that somehow CJ would look like this after the race. Hugh!

Happy Hoofin' Barbaro

Right now you think you've got your weekend all planned out as far as sports go. Check out the NFL Draft(presented by Mel Kiper's hair!), watch some NBA playoff action, maybe even make some time for the Red Sox vs. Yankees, Byron Nelson Championship or the Aaron's 499. However, you're forgetting one glorious event.

Barbaro's 4th birthday! I've even included an invitation that you can send to your friends!

That's right, this Sunday people all over the country will be celebrating what would have been the fourth anniversary of Barbaro's glorious presence on this planet. According to Sharon Crumb, organizer of the "Celebration of Barbaro's Life", she'll have more than 500 FOB's(that's Friends of Barbaro for those of you not in the loop) attending a "day of racing, sharing stories and paying respects" at Delaware Park. Additional activities include a "'Fans of Barbaro' race in which 10 fans will be able to participate in winner's circle activities, Barbaro highlight videos and a screening of the independent film, 'The First Saturday in May'". Hopefully security has been told to keep an eye out for Dee Mirich.

Other cities, such as Tampa, Los Angeles and Las Vegas, will also be hosting Barbaro celebrations at local horsetracks.

One curious omission in the AP article is of the website address where FOB's have left messages for Barbaro. Hopefully it's not because the fine people at Deadspin.com have driven them into hiding with their own contributions to the Barbaro messageboard. He was after all, Deadspin's 2006 Sportshuman Of The Year.