College Recruits, We Get Older But They Stay The Same Age(Or Get Younger)

For the second year in a row, the University of Southern California has locked up a talented eight-grade prospect. Yes, that's right, Tim Floyd went all to "Catch A Predator" again and sweet talked Ryan Boatwright, a kid who hasn't even played a game on a high school court. Oh, what's that, you didn't realize that Tim Floyd was the middle school version of a "basketball predator"? Well, last year he persuaded Dwayne Polee Jr. to give him a little oral commitment. I guess someone's going to have to tell Floyd that he has to re-register as a predator since he moved from New Orleans. Chris Hansen is a good option.


Seeing as how two eighth-graders have committed to playing college basketball in the past two years, and how competitive recruiting has become, I thought it would be a good idea to examine some of the other prospects that could be committing in the upcoming months. So, here are five recruits that are currently terrorizing the sandbox, swingset and recess street hoops games.

Jonathan Moses, 6th grade, 5'10"/135lbs. Prospective colleges: Florida, Washington, Duke. Moses is a gifted "big man". He already dwarfs most of his classmates at close to six feet tall, and he never gets picked last in any pickup games. He has to improve his footwork, and work on quitting sucking his thumb between timeouts. Florida is the leading candidate because they believe that they've found a player with Joakim Noah's..ahem.."skills".

Donnie "Double QP" Walters, 7th grade, 5'3"/155lbs. Prospective colleges: St. John's, Syracuse, Pittsburgh. Walters is the definitive "lane clogger". Hell, he's been clogging school toilets since 2nd grade. His conditioning is poor, and he doesn't have a very good jumpshot. However, he can box out and bang down low with the best of them, and his ability to snatch rebounds is impressive given the amount of weight he has to move. St. John's is the current leader in the recruiting race due to Manhattan having the highest concentration of McDonald's in the world. Yeah, that "QP" stands for quarter pounder, a staple of Donnie's diet.

Winston "Wrist Rocket" Madison, 5th grade, 4'9"/80lbs. Prospective colleges: Duke, Texas A&M, Ohio State. Madison has excellent court vision, and supreme passing skills. He's garnered the "Wrist Rocket" nickname because of the way he can thread the needle with passes during one recess session, and then knock out the entire class in dodgeball during the next one. He's also got good quickness, and can take every challenger he's faced off the dribble. Though, he's only competed against a pretty weak selection of private school opponents. Duke is favored to grab him because of his equally impressive academic achievements, and his propensity to drink too much apple cider, pop the collar on his Polo shirt, and drive his Little Tykes Hummer H2. Welcome to Durham, J.J. Redick Jr.!


Jermaine Jordan, 8th grade, 5'5"/125lbs. Prospective colleges: UNC, Texas, Arizona. Jordan is the consumate slasher/scorer, and his career average to date of 18ppg reflects that. He can take opponents off the dribble, and utilizes screens and picks effectively. He can be lazy on the defensive end at times, and relies on his athletic ability too much instead of sharpening his skills as a defender. Because of his last name he draws obvious comparisons to MJ. UNC is in the lead because they see a future "Air Jordan".


James "Old Man" Olsen, 5th grade, 5'9"/130lbs. Prospective colleges: Ohio State, LSU, UMass. Yes, that's Olsen's class photo from 5th grade. He can post-up down low, and has enough mobility to move in and out of the paint with the ball. He also has to shave twice a day. Ohio State is currently leading the recruiting battle due to their strength in recruiting players that look 50 years older than they actually are.

So there you have it. Just a few of the recruits that you could see signed by D-1 schools in the next few months as the recruiting wars heat up. However, the colleges better be careful not get caught up by Chris Hansen.

I'm Chris Hansen with NBC Dateline, exactly what were you looking for by coming here...

Mark Philippoussis Is Holding Serve In The Court Of Love

Mark Philippoussis, a tennis star who was at one time ranked in the top 10 in the world, has ventured into the world of reality TV dating. Philippoussis has been cast as "America's most eligible bachelor" on NBC's summer program, "Age of Love".

The show is setup so that there are two "teams" of women grouped together by their age. One team is made up of "cougars", women in their 40's. The other is made up of "kittens", women in their 20's. Each woman will be vying for Philippoussis'(who's 30 years old) affection, and the audience will supposedly get to see whether age makes a difference when trying to find true love(yeah, that TV crew will have no affect whatsoever, right).

Apparently, Philippoussis was unaware of the age differences, and supposedly was caught a bit offguard by the rising age levels when he was first introduced to the "cougars". I guess we'll just have to wait until the first episode to see that compelling TV moment.

Obviously, this follows in the footsteps of ABC's decision to use NFL quarterback Jesse Palmer as its "prize" on "The Bachelor". Having a well-known athlete seemed to help that show's ratings(11 million viewers for the premiere), though Philippoussis might not be quite as famous as Jesse Palmer is, at least here in the U.S.(that's a great insight into the state of tennis in the U.S.)

Oh well, keeping him in the back of a limo, wearing a wifebeater, and letting the "contestants" grope him is probably all NBC needs to do to have a successful reality TV show. Either that, or let him show the women why his nickname is "Scud". It's unfortunate that Paris Hilton is locked up, or they could bring her in at the end for a twist.



Welcome back Mr. Philippoussis(typing it is a bitch, saying it is fun!), even if it's not on the tennis court. And try not to hurt that surgically repaired knee when you're teaching the women about grips, groundstrokes and jamming.