Tuesday, November 14, 2006

A $500 NFL Fine? What is this, 1946?

A week ago, on Monday Night Football, Oakland's Tyler Brayton and Seattle's Jerramy Stevens got into a pushing match that ended with Brayton kneeing Stevens in the crotch. In the days following the event, fans and analysts debated what the fine would be, and whether or not Brayton, and/or Stevens, would be suspended.

Last Wednesday, two days after the incident, the NFL fined Stevens $15,000 and Brayton $25,000. Neither were suspended.

Somewhat lost in all of this was that apparently Brayton's 81-year old grandfather, Bobo Brayton, was in the stands to witness Tyler's WWE moves. After being ejected, Tyler told his grandfather that he would probably be fined, and his grandfather responded with, "I told him, 'It will be, what, five hundred, a thousand bucks?"

Ok, I know the guy is 81, but does he have any idea what the NFL has become? He obviously has to be somewhat lucid because he drove five hours to see the game. Though, there are quite a few elderly people on the roads here in Florida that I don't think have any brain matter left. Anyway, most NFL players could light $500 on fire and not really think twice about it.

Although, extrapolating the percent difference between $25,000 and $500, and applying it to the prices of other things would be fun. For instance:

Gasoline. If supreme costs $2.50/gal, then in Bobo's World it would cost $.05. That's right, a nickel. Though, we would still bitch if it went above a dime.

Wendy's. Right now, Value Meal items are $.99. In Bobo's World they would be $.02. Two pennies for a junior bacon cheeseburger?!? Damn, the U.S. would be full of even more fatasses.

Citifield. The Mets new home is going to cost $800 million to build. If Bobo were in charge, it would be Wal-Mart cheap at $16 million. Seriously, $16 million? That's enough to buy two of those badass scoreboard setups at the University of Texas with no field or seats.

But yeah, a $500 NFL fine? Ray Lewis would be stabbing people on the field if that were the case.

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