Prince's Super Bowl Halftime Show Turns Kids Gay

The Smoking Gun has gotten ahold of some of the complaints that were received by the FCC concerning this year's Super Bowl broadcast. Most of the letters and e-mails voiced displeasure with seeing two men kiss while eating a Snickers bar, and watching Prince hold his "phallic guitar" in a suggestive manner.

A few of the letters seem so over the top though, that they have to be fake(right?). Here are a few of my favorite excerpts:

"CBS Sports knew, that when the former penist named Prince brought out that guitar it wasn't going to be good."

"During Prince's rendition of Purple Rain, which I think is a really great song, there seemed to be a shadow puppet of his(penis). The sheet? That was the backdrop seemed to be(stained?) with something(semen?) My children were watching and now I have to explain to them what a wetspot is on a cum covered sheet. Thanks CBS."

"How can you show Prince at the half time show doing what we did??? How could that not be censored??? Tell me it was not meant to be what was depicted! A cloth with him silhoutted behind it with a guitar that very much looked like an enlarged engorged penis! and him stoking it!!!"

And my personal favorite:

"It was obscene to show Prince, a HOMOSEXUAL person through a sheet, as to show his silhuette while his guitar showed a very public symbol coming from his below-midriff section. I am very offended and I would preffer not to have showed it to my 4 children who love football. One of them has hoped to be a quarterback and now he will turn out gay. I am actually considering to check him for HIV. Thanks CBS for turning my son GAY."

Hmmm, a gay quarterback you say? Jeff Garcia(allegedly) can't be happy about that type of competition. And HIV? It's not like the kid was attending a Tommy Morrison boxing camp.