A Footrace Even Homer Simpson Would Enjoy

Usually when you think about beer and sports, you probably think about enjoying a few of those tasty beverages while at a stadium watching your favorite team. Or maybe you picture yourself housing a few cold ones while cheering from the comfort of your couch. You might even try to pass yourself off as an "athlete" to others by recounting your feats while participating in some "beer league" softball games. However, what if you combined the suds with a real athletic endeavor like running two miles?

Well, that's exactly what organizers of the "Beer Belly Two" in Suamico, Wisconsin have been doing for the past 19 years. Yesterday, they put on the 19th annual race complete with the traditional in-race beer stops, and if a former sheriff is any indication it was probably a good time.

Former Brown County Sheriff Tom Hinz:
"I have participated several times in the Beer Belly Two and know it to be a family oriented activity and very helpful to various important local charitable organizations. I heartily endorse it."

I hope all those runners had rides home, sheriff.

One thing that did surprise me was that the race took place on a Sunday morning at 10:30AM. First, here in Florida I can't buy beer on Sunday before noon, but these people can engage in an event that sort of promotes public intoxication. Interesting. Second, why not a Friday or Saturday afternoon? Though, I guess that since the Packers aren't playing right now people in Wisconsin have to find other avenues of entertainment on Sunday.

I did find it somewhat funny that at least one of the participants had to use the race as an excuse to get his wife to let him drink some beers.

"This way the wife allows me to have a couple of beers because you're doing something," he said. "A little exercise, you kill two birds with one stone."

Wow, hey buddy did you find your testicles while you were out on that race course? I don't know what's worse, the fact that his wife won't let him drink beers, or that he thinks that running and drinking is a good form of exercise.

At least I know that Homer Simpson would enjoy this race, no matter what his wife said.

"Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose. It's how drunk you get."

It's 5 O'Clock Somewhere - Happy Birthday To "Us" Edition

Since it's Friday, and the end of the workweek for most people, we think that you should be provided with a post that takes the edge off so to speak. Because it's going to be random and hopefully humorous, that means that it won't always be sports related. It will also pop up at any time on Friday.

I really can't believe that it's been a year since I put up my first full post here at the Sports Oasis. Actually, June 7 marked a full year, but I figured that making it a "5 O'Clock Somewhere" segment would just add to the festivity.

First, I would like to say "thanks" to anyone and everyone who has ever read, commented, linked, etc. on/to this site. There are a ton of talented bloggers out there, and I feel very fortunate that sometimes I can steal your attention away from them for a few minutes.

Second, hopefully this is just the first year of many. I've learned a lot of things over the last 12 months, and will continue to learn a lot more, and hopefully that will help me provide you, the readers, with interesting content.

Lastly, let's rock this party like we should! It's almost 3 o'clock here on the east coast, but it's damn sure "5 o'clock somewhere"!

We'll start out with a classic birthday wish, and then head downhill from there. Happy Friday suckas!







And the anthem of the afternoon shall be:

It's Like Climbing The Col du Tourmalet, Only In A Courtroom

Yesterday, the Floyd Landis arbitration hearing got underway in California, and by most accounts it was slow and tedious.

The first bit of trouble came when lead arbitrator Patrice Brunet, who speaks French, noticed that the courtroom translator wasn't translating accurately. At one point translating the French version of "a day and a half" into "an hour and a half" in English. There wasn't any word on whether "beer" and whiskey" had to be translated.

One problem that Landis faces is that more than one sample showed signs of "abnormal testoserone levels". One of his eight samples collected during the Tour tested positive for elevated testosterone levels, and contained a type of synthetic testosterone. Four of the remaining seven samples produced "abnormal" results after undergoing carbon-isotope tests.

Another hurdle is the USADA's record in cases that head to arbitration. Currently, they are 34-0 in cases that make it to the arbitration stage. Obviously they know when to take a case to arbitration, and what to do with it once they're there. Though, that won't stop the Landis team from trying to prove that the machines and tests were manipulated in a way to make them return "positive" results.

To me, there are two ways that you could look at the idea that Landis was somehow "framed".

The first is that the French had become so upset with Lance Armstrong dominating the Tour for seven consecutive years that they were determined not to let it happen again. Whether or not it was a huge conspiracy or just confined to the French lab doesn't matter in this theory. What matters is that someone was angry enough to somehow "doctor" the results.

The second is that the French had wanted to set up Armstrong, but knew his popularity would ensure a huge storm of media coverage and scrutiny. They ultimately decided against starting a controversy of that magnitude, though they may have had something to do with the numerous doping allegations that surrounded Armstrong, especially towards the end of his participation in the Tour.

About a week ago, Landis made it known publicly that his lawyer had been approached by the USADA's head attorney, Travis Tygart, who offered Landis “the shortest suspension they’d ever given an athlete” if he gave them information about Armstrong doping. Obviously that doesn't directly tie in with the French lab or authorities because the USADA is an American agency, but it does illustrate the desire that some people may have for portraying Armstrong(and maybe even Landis) as a cheater. And if the USADA is so zealous in their pursuit of Armstrong, who's not to say that the French were the same when it came to ensuring that an American didn't win their Tour de France for an eighth consecutive time?

'Cause I'm A Golf Fan Baby

This past Monday evening, thieves stole golf clubs belonging to the Milan High School girl's golf team from their coach's car. They made off with six sets of clubs. Five belonged to girls on the team, and one belonged to the coach, Claire Neff.

Eventhough it was a sad incident, help arrived two days later in the form of a phone call from a surprising source.

Kid Rock.

I say "surprising" because I had no idea that he was a golf fan. The more surprising aspect of the story is that he called up John Daly for advice on what clubs to order as replacements for the ones that were stolen.

That's right, Kid Rock and John Daly talk about golf clubs. There's a good chance that they might even shoot rounds of golf together, though they probably have to call ahead so that the mobile beer carts are adequately stocked.

Seriously, if you had the chance to play with either Kid Rock & John Daly, or Tiger & MJ, who would you choose? Bawitdaba baby...bawitdaba...

And that picture is pretty much how I envision Kid Rock on the course. Wife-beater, cigar, can of beer, girls and a stylin' hat.