Cedric Benson Gets Some New Hardware

Ok, so this happened on Monday, but it's the first that I've heard of it. Former Bears running back, and operator of vehicles while under the influence extraordinaire, Cedric Benson picked up some new hardware on Monday. Exactly what was it?

A Super Bowl replica ring from fellow Texas alum Aaron Ross? No.

A neckbrace signed by the entire Bears defense as a parting shot? No, but that would have been fitting considering their dislike of him.

It's something that he probably could have used before the offseason started.

Give up?

How about an ignition-lock breath tester?

Yes, Benson was ordered to install one because of the multiple DWI charges that he's facing.

If you're penciling in "busts" from the '05 NFL Draft make sure to have Benson up near the top. At least for the moment.

Tank Johnson, Craving Some More Of That Jailhouse Jerky

While Tank Johnson was serving his time in the clink it became known that he very much enjoyed eating junk food. Especially beef jerky. You would think that after serving his two months he would realize how unpleasant county lockup is. However, it seems that Tank has a craving for some more of those beef sticks, and he'll do whatever it takes to get them. Including, possibly heading back to jail.

Friday morning, at 3:30AM, Johnson was pulled over in Arizona for doing 40mph in a 25mph zone. Police suspected that he was driving impaired so they took a blood sample.

Police in the Phoenix suburb of Gilbert said Johnson was stopped for driving 40 mph in a 25 mph zone at 3:30 a.m. Friday and the officer made observations that led him to believe Johnson was impaired.

Sgt. Andrew Duncan, a police spokesman, said Johnson was arrested for "DUI Impaired to the Slightest Degree" but was released without being booked or charged.

Duncan said Johnson was taken to the Gilbert police station, where officials drew blood for a blood-alcohol content test before his release. He described Johnson as "very cooperative."

Whether or not Johnson was only "slightly impaired"(what the hell does that even mean anyway?), doesn't really matter. Any evidence of him driving under the influence won't make commissioner Roger Goodell a happy man, and Johnson's 8 game suspension could be increased. Goodell had stated that Johnson's half-season suspension could be reduced to six games if he had "no further involvement with law enforcement", but that seems unlikely now.

So now we get to wait and see what Johnson's BAC level was, and what type of charges the police in Arizona decided to pursue. After all, doing 40mph in a 25mph zone isn't exactly a light charge. Oh well, at least Tank can look forward to getting some more of his favorite junk food, including all the jailhouse jerky he can handle.

Mike Ditka, Laying Out The X's and O's For Retired Football Players

Mike Ditka has joined the fight for getting retired NFL players better healthcare coverage and retirement benefits. A number of retired players have debilitating injuries that require extensive surgeries and numerous medications. As the system stands right now it can be an arduous process to get even a little assistance. Ditka was asked to help by former Green Bay Packers player Jerry Kramer, who started the Gridiron Greats organization in order to help retired NFL plauyers.

Ditka admits that he doesn't have all of the answers, though his theory that the fans wouldn't oppose a $1 increase in ticket prices if the money went to help retired players and not to the owners probably isn't too far off. Seeing him speak you can understand why he was a good coach, and why many people still love him to this day. Sure, he might have the reputation of being short-tempered, and that Ricky Williams trade wasn't the best move, but when he talks you can't help but listen.

Will He Lobby For A 100 Catch Rating Too?

Chicago Bears coach Lovie Smith told reporters yesterday that Devin Hester would be moving to the offensive side of the ball for the '07-'08 season.

There's no doubt that Hester is a phenomenal return specialist with a lot of speed. He has some experience playing receiver, though 10 receptions for 196 yards and no TD's over three seasons at Miami aren't exactly the strongest receiving statistics. However, I imagine that offensive coordinator Ron Turner will get the ball into Hester's hands anyway possible.

One question I do have is what will his catch rating be on Madden '08? There have been some reports that Hester actually lobbied the EA Sports developers to give him a perfect 100 speed rating. Whether or not that actually occured I'm not sure, but Hester is going to be the first player to ever have a speed rating of 100 on Madden. That's right, Deion Sanders, DeAngelo Hall, even Dante "The Human Joystick" Hall never had speed ratings of 100. With his switch to offense, though will Hester lobby for a high catch rating? I can't imagine him being over an 85, but I guess we'll have to wait until August 14 to find out.


Devin Hester, causing teams to lobby for a 12th man on kick coverages