Dontrelle Willis Settles DUI Case

Dontrelle Willis, of crazy high leg kicking fame, entered a guilty plea in his DUI case that was reduced to reckless driving. The bigger part of the story is the police report description of Willis when the cops rolled up on him:

The former Marlins left-hander was arrested in December 2006 in Miami Beach. Police noticed Willis had double-parked his Bentley and had watery eyes, slurred speech and appeared confused.

At first, I would wonder if they hadn't mistaken him with Ricky Williams, but it was '06 and I'm pretty sure Ricky Ganja wasn't sporting a Bentley at that point. However, I would like to know where Dontrelle was headed after double parking his ride. He was probably either so confused that he thought he was home, or he was trying to track down a sandwich vendor for a post-drinking binge snack.

If This Happened In The U.S. We Would Have No Sports To Watch

It seems that in recent times athletes being busted for DUI's has become somewhat commonplace(.08, that's like half a beer!). I'm not condoning driving under the influence, though I find that when most people hear about an athlete getting arrested for driving after drinking too much they usually shrug their shoulders and say something like "sucks to be him". However, maybe that's because a number of people I talk to shouldn't even be driving back to work on Friday after lunch, let alone at 1AM on Saturday morning.

Anyway, a figure skater in Japan by the name of Nobunari Oda was "suspended from international competition for five months on Thursday after police caught him riding his moped while under the influence of alcohol". And that's not all:

The 20-year-old, a descendant of the mighty 16th century warlord Oda Nobunaga, was also banned from domestic competition for three months by the Japan Skating Federation (JSF).

JSF officials imposed a further penalty on Oda by suspending all financial aid for his training, which only the federation's elite skaters receive, until the end of the year.

Sweet jeebus. Banned from domestic and international competition, and had his financial aid revoked? If Chris Henry played football in Japan he would probably have been executed by now. The craziest part is that Nobunari's ancestor "conquered most of the country before his death in 1582". His relative did all of that and he still gets slammed with suspensions and financial aid revocation. Jeff Bowden better be glad that Tallahassee isn't located in Japan.

Tank Johnson, Craving Some More Of That Jailhouse Jerky

While Tank Johnson was serving his time in the clink it became known that he very much enjoyed eating junk food. Especially beef jerky. You would think that after serving his two months he would realize how unpleasant county lockup is. However, it seems that Tank has a craving for some more of those beef sticks, and he'll do whatever it takes to get them. Including, possibly heading back to jail.

Friday morning, at 3:30AM, Johnson was pulled over in Arizona for doing 40mph in a 25mph zone. Police suspected that he was driving impaired so they took a blood sample.

Police in the Phoenix suburb of Gilbert said Johnson was stopped for driving 40 mph in a 25 mph zone at 3:30 a.m. Friday and the officer made observations that led him to believe Johnson was impaired.

Sgt. Andrew Duncan, a police spokesman, said Johnson was arrested for "DUI Impaired to the Slightest Degree" but was released without being booked or charged.

Duncan said Johnson was taken to the Gilbert police station, where officials drew blood for a blood-alcohol content test before his release. He described Johnson as "very cooperative."

Whether or not Johnson was only "slightly impaired"(what the hell does that even mean anyway?), doesn't really matter. Any evidence of him driving under the influence won't make commissioner Roger Goodell a happy man, and Johnson's 8 game suspension could be increased. Goodell had stated that Johnson's half-season suspension could be reduced to six games if he had "no further involvement with law enforcement", but that seems unlikely now.

So now we get to wait and see what Johnson's BAC level was, and what type of charges the police in Arizona decided to pursue. After all, doing 40mph in a 25mph zone isn't exactly a light charge. Oh well, at least Tank can look forward to getting some more of his favorite junk food, including all the jailhouse jerky he can handle.

Friends Don't Let Friends Drive Drunk, Even When They're Riding Shotgun To Keep An Eye On Them

Early this morning Baltimore Ravens quarterback Steve McNair was arrested. The charge? Owning a vehicle being driven by a drunken driver.




Apparently, McNair and his brother-in-law went out, had some drinks, and then had to decide who was the most sober. After what was probably an exhaustive process(rock, paper, scissors solves all!) McNair decided that the safest thing was for his brother-in-law to drive while he rode shotgun and either A)Kept an eye out for "the man", B)Ate a delicious hamburger, or C)Passed out. I'm thinking it was probably a combination of the first two.

Maybe McNair and his brother-in-law will have the evidence against them supressed like McNair got in 2004. Or maybe he'll just keep showing up at the courthouse until they drop the charges. Hey, it got him traded to the Ravens.