Are You Smarter Than An NFL Draft Pick?

The NFL Draft has come and gone, and you've already read Mel Kiper's analysis(presented by his hair!) of your team so many times that you recite it as a prayer before going to bed. However, one thing that Mr. Kiper probably does not do(I wouldn't know because I refuse to pay for "Insider" access) is inform you as to what some of the draft picks were majoring in before they left college.

For the most part, this will be a review of what the eleven quarterbacks who were drafted majored in since many consider that to be the most mentally demanding position to play. I will, however include a complete list of majors for the draft picks from rounds one and two.

And if you're one of those people who thinks that football players at popular division one schools don't do much of their own work? Humor me.

Jamarcus Russell(QB, LSU): General Studies. Ah yes, the good old "general studies" major. However, when you're about to get paid millions of dollars you could major in dodgeball and be ok.

Brady Quinn(QB, Notre Dame): Finance/Political Science(double major). Say what you want about Quinn's suspect arm strength, his brain has to be decently strong to double major at Notre Dame. Though, that $17 million hit he sustained as a result of sliding to #22 will make budgeting his finances even more important.

Kevin Kolb(QB, Houston): Business. It's always good to have some business knowledge, especially when your net worth is going to increase dramatically. Kolb might have been better served majoring in diplomacy had he known the controversy his selection by the Eagles was going to cause.

John Beck(QB, BYU): Communications(graduated). It's nice to see that Beck has already obtained his degree, though the fans in Miami probably couldn't care less. During his rookie season, he will most likely put his communications skills to good use answering questions about how it feels to be the 75th heir in 7 years to Dan Marino's cleats(and knee braces).

Drew Stanton(QB, Michigan State): Kinesiology. Stanton picked a great subject to major in as the newest quarterback addition to the Detroit Lions' roster. He'll be able to tell the training staff exactly what's broken or bruised anytime he takes snaps behind an offensive line that gave up the second most sacks in the NFL last season.

Trent Edwards(QB, Stanford): Political Science. The "Edwards For QB Campaign" already has a little support as J.P. Losman hasn't been the most productive passer. Fortunately Edwards didn't major in "nightlife" because thanks to Willis McGahee we all know how bad that scene is in Buffalo.

Isaiah Stanback(QB, Washington): Marketing. If Stanback wants any shot of playing quarterback for the Cowboys he should start marketing himself as the best placekick holder in the history of the NFL. No matter what, he would have to look more graceful getting tackled than Tony Romo did against the Seahawks.

Jeff Rowe(QB, Nevada): Communications. Communications isn't a bad fit for someone drafted by Cincinnati. After all, the arrests and locker room fights have to be discussed at some point. Though, Rowe might want to consider a law degree so that he can represent his teammates if/when they get into trouble. Last year he would have made a ton of money providing counsel.

Troy Smith(QB, Ohio State): Running Scared From The Florida Defense...oops sorry about that...Communications. The Heisman Trophy winner slipped into the fifth round probably as a result of his showing against the Gators. He comes into a quarterback situation that's favorable to him with Steve McNair on the downside of his career and Kyle Boller likely out next year. However, he'll probably spend most of his time having to communicate that the position of quarterback still exists in Baltimore.

Jordan Palmer(QB, Texas-El Paso): Communications. Palmer will put his communications knowledge to good use answering questions...about his big brother Carson. "Seriously, did he torment you like Peyton tormented Eli?"

Tyler Thigpen(QB, Coastal Carolina): Recreation and Sports Management. Thigpen has to be happy with being selected by Minnesota. Not only are there questions at the quarterback position, it's a known fact that they enjoy their recreational activities. No matter how obscene they may be. Though, he might have been better served majoring in something aquatic related as we all know how much Vikings' players enjoy their time on the water.

There they are, the eleven quarterbacks that were drafted and what they were majoring in before heading to the NFL. Don't forget to check out the complete list of majors for the picks from rounds 1 and 2.

Complete List of Majors For The Draft Picks of Rounds 1 and 2

Round 1

1.Jamarcus Russell(QB, LSU): General Studies

2.Calvin Johnson(WR, Georgia Tech): Building Construction

3.Joe Thomas(OT, Wisconsin): Real Estate & Urban Land Economics

4.Gaines Adams(DE, Clemson): Sport Management

5.Levi Brown(OT, Penn St.): Psychology

6.LaRon Landry(FS, LSU): Communication Studies

7.Adrian Peterson(RB, Oklahoma): Sociology

8.Jamaal Anderson(DE, Arkansas): Sociology

9.Ted Ginn Jr.(WR, Ohio St.): Human Development & Family

10.Amobi Okoye(DT, Louisville): Psychology

11.Patrick Willis(LB, Mississippi): Liberal Arts

12.Marshawn Lynch(RB, Cal): Social Welfare

13.Adam Carriker(DE, Nebraska): Business Administration(graduated)

14.Darrelle Revis(CB, Pitt): Social Science

15.Lawrence Timmons(LB, FSU): Social Science

16.Justin Harrell(DT, Tennessee): Sports Management

17.Jarvis Moss(DE, Florida): Sociology

18.Leon Hall(CB, Michigan): General Studies

19.Michael Griffin(FS, Texas): Liberal Arts

20.Aaron Ross(CB, Texas): Education

21.Reggie Nelson(FS, Florida): Sociology

22.Brady Quinn(QB, Notre Dame): Finance/Political Science(double major)

23.Dwayne Bowe(WR, LSU): Education/General Studies

24.Brandon Meriweather(FS, Miami-FL): Liberal Arts

25.Jon Beason(LB, Miami-FL): Business Management

26.Anthony Spencer(DE, Purdue): African-American Studies

27.Robert Meachem(WR, Tennessee): Communications

28.Joe Staley(OT, Central Michigan): Business Major

29.Ben Grubbs(G, Auburn): Business(graduated)

30.Craig Davis(WR, LSU): Communication Studies

31.Greg Olsen(TE, Miami-FL): Criminology

32.Anthony Gonzalez(WR, Ohio St.): Philosophy

Round 2

33.Alan Branch(DT, Michigan): General Studies

34.Paul Posluszny(LB, Penn St.): Finance(graduated)

35.Arron Sears(DT, Tennessee): Sociology

36.Kevin Kolb(QB, Houston): Business

37.Eric Weddle(SS, Utah): Special Education

38.Zach Miller(TE, Arizona St.): General Studies

39.Justin Blalock(OT, Texas): Youth and Community Studies(graduated)

40.John Beck(QB, BYU): Communications(graduated)

41.Chris Houston(CB, Arkansas): Recreation

42.Tony Ugoh(G, Arkansas): Business

43.Drew Stanton(QB, Michigan St.): Kinesiology

44.Sidney Rice(WR, South Carolina): African-American Studies

45.Dwayne Jarrett(WR, USC): Sociology

46.LaMarr Woodley(DE, Michigan): General Studies

47.David Harris(LB, Michigan): General Studies

48.Justin Durant(LB, Hampton): Sports Management

49.Kenny Irons(RB, Auburn): Business Economics

50.Chris Henry(RB, Arizona): Philosophy

51.Steve Smith(WR, USC): Public Policy/Planning & Management

52.Brian Leonard(FB, Rutgers): Labor Studies

53.Eric Wright(CB, Nevada-Las Vegas): University Studies

54.Turk McBride(DT, Tennessee): Sociology

55.Josh Wilson(CB, Maryland): Marketing(graduated)

56.Tim Crowder(DE, Texas): Liberal Arts

57.Victor Abiamiri(DE, Notre Dame): Finance

58.Ikaika Alama-Francis(DE, Hawaii): Physical Education

59.Ryan Kalil(C, USC): Sociology

60.Samson Satele(C, Hawaii): Sociology(graduated)

61.Gerald Alexander(FS, Boise St.): Communications

62.Dan Bazuin(DE, Central Michigan): Marketing

63.Brandon Jackson(RB, Nebraska): Sociology

64.Sabby Piscitelli(SS, Oregon State): Speech Communications

Friends Don't Let Friends Drive Drunk, Even When They're Riding Shotgun To Keep An Eye On Them

Early this morning Baltimore Ravens quarterback Steve McNair was arrested. The charge? Owning a vehicle being driven by a drunken driver.




Apparently, McNair and his brother-in-law went out, had some drinks, and then had to decide who was the most sober. After what was probably an exhaustive process(rock, paper, scissors solves all!) McNair decided that the safest thing was for his brother-in-law to drive while he rode shotgun and either A)Kept an eye out for "the man", B)Ate a delicious hamburger, or C)Passed out. I'm thinking it was probably a combination of the first two.

Maybe McNair and his brother-in-law will have the evidence against them supressed like McNair got in 2004. Or maybe he'll just keep showing up at the courthouse until they drop the charges. Hey, it got him traded to the Ravens.

Now Eli's Struggles Make Sense

Poor Eli Manning, it seems that he may never be able to step out of his brother's shadow. Anything short of winning a Super Bowl will probably never be enough.

Thanks to Gatorade, however we get a glimpse of what Eli had to contend with growing up. Having his "windshield wiped"? Being elbowed in the head? Getting boogers flicked at him? And watching his assailant(a Herman Munster-esque fellow who happens to be his older brother) still complete a touchdown? No wonder he's so fragile!




Somewhere, Matt Leinart is pissed about this commercial.

Maybe You Can Ask Your Mom To Pick You Up From The Dojo?

Reuters has reported that "Sumo wrestler Kyokutenho was banned on Monday from participating in the next major tournament after crashing into a car at a red traffic light".

Upon first glance it appears that the Japan Sumo Association is trying to send a message to its wrestlers that they need to be very cautious when driving. However, it seems that due to a particularly bad accident a few years ago sumo wrestlers in the JSA are forbidden to drive at all.

That's right, they either have to hitch a ride, utilize public transportation or walk. Though, the latter seems a bit counterproductive since sumo wrestlers are usually rather...um..."large" individuals.

For some reason though, I could see Roger Goodell enacting a similar policy in the NFL this season.

Put On Your Jerseyka It's Time For the Stanley Cupukah

About three months ago, the Buffalo Sabres and Ottawa Senators had a fight and a hockey game broke out. Afterwards, the staff at WGR 550 in Buffalo put together a song celebrating the occasion, and it eventually made its way to YouTube with highlights of the "brawl" among other things.

As fate would have it, the two teams are set to face off on Thursday, May 10 in the first game of the Eastern Conference Finals. So to get you ready for that, here's the song/video set to Adam Sandler's "The Chanukah Song".

David Ortiz Does Not [Expletive] Care About Steroids

On Monday, Boston Red Sox player David Ortiz discussed his feelings regarding Barry Bonds, steroids, Commissioner Bud Selig and protein shakes in the Dominican Republic.

He doesn't believe that Bonds has ever taken steroids because he has such a "consistent swing", and because he doesn't think that "steroids mentally get you perfect". Also, Oritz would just like you to admit that Bonds is "a bad [expletive]".

Ortiz went on to say that he thinks Commissioner Selig should watch Bonds break Aaron's homerun record in person even if he doesn't want to because if he doesn't people will consider baseball "a joke". And that eventhough Selig is the Commissioner "there's nothing he can do" about the situation.

Ortiz also said that he might have taken steroids in the Dominican Republic while drinking protein shakes.

“I used to buy a protein shake in my country. I don’t do that anymore because they don’t have the approval for that here, so I know that, so I’m off buying things at the GNC back in the Dominican (Republic). But it can happen anytime, it can happen. I don’t know. I don’t know if I drank something in my youth, not knowing it.”

Sure, I could see that happening. Maybe if Yankees' fans ran the smoothie counter.

Though, it is good to know that Ortiz is sure that Bonds hasn't done steroids, isn't sure whether he himself has or not, and thinks that Commissioner Selig not seeing Bonds break Aaron's record in person is what will make baseball a "joke". Yeah Big Papi, that's what will make people think baseball is a "joke".

'Cause I'm A Golf Fan Baby

This past Monday evening, thieves stole golf clubs belonging to the Milan High School girl's golf team from their coach's car. They made off with six sets of clubs. Five belonged to girls on the team, and one belonged to the coach, Claire Neff.

Eventhough it was a sad incident, help arrived two days later in the form of a phone call from a surprising source.

Kid Rock.

I say "surprising" because I had no idea that he was a golf fan. The more surprising aspect of the story is that he called up John Daly for advice on what clubs to order as replacements for the ones that were stolen.

That's right, Kid Rock and John Daly talk about golf clubs. There's a good chance that they might even shoot rounds of golf together, though they probably have to call ahead so that the mobile beer carts are adequately stocked.

Seriously, if you had the chance to play with either Kid Rock & John Daly, or Tiger & MJ, who would you choose? Bawitdaba baby...bawitdaba...

And that picture is pretty much how I envision Kid Rock on the course. Wife-beater, cigar, can of beer, girls and a stylin' hat.

Drinking Your Way To The Finish Line

Saturday marks the 133rd running of The Kentucky Derby, and if you're like me, then you don't have all that much interest in watching a short man ride Mr. Ed around a track beating him with a stick. However, this year a few things have come together in our favor that make this Derby a bit more interesting. And by "more interesting" I mean that they could involve alcohol.

Number one, this is the first Derby since the beloved Barbaro died. No, we shouldn't be happy that he died, but we should celebrate the happiness he brought others while on this planet. You could "pour out a lil' liquor", though I would much prefer to ingest it. I think that a shot of tequila would be appropriate.

I guess now is the best time to address the topic of what alcohol you should be utilizing for this special occasion. Of course the mint julep is the "official" drink of the Derby, but a drink with "julep" in the name sounds like it should have an umbrella in it. Besides, a mint julep is basically bourbon and mint leaves so why not just take a few shots of Jim Beam and chase it with a piece of Winterfresh gum? However, one of the other "interesting things" is that this year's Derby falls on Cinco de Mayo. Hence my suggestion of partying with your favorite tequila.

Numero dos, like I mentioned above Saturday is Cinco de Mayo. Combining your celebration of the Battle of Puebla with the Kentucky Derby is a perfect way to spend the day. Margaritas and tequila shots are more than adequate rivals to mint juleps and beers.

Number three, this year's field has two jockeys that are originally from Mexico. Instantly, you have two riders to cheer for because seeing them win on one of their national holidays would be awesome. The two jockeys are Juan Leyva, who's riding "Storm In May", and David Flores, who's riding "Liquidity". If either of those guys wins you should feel the urge to pound some tequila straight from the bottle.

So there you have it. Now you have some ways to make watching the Kentucky Derby a little more "enjoyable", and I've even provided you with two horses to root for. One other thing to keep an eye on is how the horse "Hard Spun" does. He's leaving from shoot #8, the same spot Barbaro had last year. If he somehow comes from behind and ends up blowing the rest of the field away like Barbaro did last year, you will definitely want to start drinking from the bottle because "The Horse" himself may be on his way down.

How's That Karma Feeling, Meshawn?

With their first pick of the second round the Carolina Panthers selected USC wide receiver Dwayne Jarrett. Apparently five seconds before the selection Keyshawn Johnson turned to Steve Young and said "I hope they pick Dwayne Jarrett because I can teach him, I can show him how to play football". Now he'll also be able to show him how one cleans out his locker after being replaced by a rookie because the Panthers cut Meshawn today.

It's got to sting a little bit that the rookie you called a "great pick", and justified him being selected by saying that your team "needed another wide receiver, needed a third guy" is most likely going to take your job. I guess Keyshawn wasn't lying when he said "he plays exactly like me". Oh well, at least he's always got a video to remember the occasion.

Maybe Tony Stewart Wasn't So Wrong

When Tony Stewart compared NASCAR to professional wrestling a little over a week ago I bet he had no idea how right he really he was. Stewart got in trouble because he implied that NASCAR races had become like pro wrestling matches where caution flags were being used to shape the outcome. Obviously the NASCAR bigwigs didn't appreciate those comments and made their displeasure clear to everyone, especially Stewart.

However, if he would have just compared a large segment of the crowds that attend both "sporting" events he wouldn't have had any problems. The video below is how NASCAR fans helped Jeff Gordon celebrate his record breaking(previously held by Earnhardt Sr.) 77th win.



Now tell me that after watching that video you can't picture a squared circle in the infield with Macho Man snapping slim-jims, Rick Flair yelling out "woooo" and the Hulkster putting his hand up to his ear. I know you can, brother!