Fish Killed By Soccer...Ball

Normally, when there's a soccer related death the mind instantly wanders to scenes of balconies collapsing, houligans rioting or players collapsing on the field. Oh, they were flopping? Nevermind that last part then.

Rarely would you ever think about something involving a fish. Well, unless Zidane climbed into the Koi pond and started mercilessly headbutting everything in sight. In this case, there was no assault. Just a single soccer ball and a 6 1/2 foot catfish.

A catfish has apparently choked to death after trying to chow down a soccer ball in the locks of a Bavarian canal.

German police say the 6 1/2-foot-long fish was found dead Monday, floating on the surface of the water with a blue-and-white soccer ball in its mouth.

"He tried to eat the ball and it got stuck," police spokesman Karl-Heinz Kuberlein said Tuesday.

Did the final of the Euro 2008 soccer championship on Sunday - during which Germany lost 1-0 to Spain - have anything to do with it?

"Whether the fish was caught up in soccer ball fever in the aftermath of the European championship and hence snapped at the ball can unfortunately not be determined," police said in a statement.

I especially enjoy that last part. Apparently, we will never know if it was an accident, or whether the fish, so distraught over the German team's loss, committed suicide by swallowing the ball.

On another note, it's a shame that such a fine specimen will never have a chance to get noodled.

And You Thought Your Local DMV Was Shady

Imagine if you had a favorite sports team. Now imagine if you wanted to get a custom license plate depicting your allegiance to said team. If no one else had that tag, then it would be yours to proudly display on the back of your vehicle forever and ever. Or at least until some asshat rips it off.

If you live in London however, that wouldn't be the case. No, across the pond you might have to bid on the tag in an auction if you really want it, and you better bring your nickels, dimes, shillings, whatever because it probably won't be cheap. Especially if it has anything to do with soccer.

It's the ultimate status symbol for a West Ham fan with a fat wallet and an ego to match -- the personalised car number plate "WE57 HAM".

The plate is up for auction later this month with a reserve price of 4,000 pounds, small change for most premier league players.

"We know what a large and passionate support there is for West Ham," said Damian Lawson, of the Driver and Vehicle Licensing Agency (DVLA), the auction's organiser.

"Because the number reads so well we think it stands a real chance of topping the table of football plates."

Ok, so a reserve of 4,000 pounds puts it at roughly $8,155. That's pretty damn expensive for a license plate, but what's this about "topping the table of football plates"?

Bidding will have to be fierce to beat the current record for a football-themed plate. The DVLA sold "AR53 NAL" for 36,000 pounds in 2004.

Private sales of plates such as "1 UTD", for Manchester United, have reportedly fetched even bigger sums.

36,000 pounds? That's a little over $73,000. That's a lot of money for a piece of metal on the back of your vehicle. Don't they have those window flags, or magnetic signs in England? You could buy a few thousand cases of those for that type of money. And it's not like this is an individual auctioning off the plate. It's the government office in charge of licensing vehicles that's sanctioning this.

Oh well, I guess if someone is willing to pay that kind of money for it, then more power to them.

That Train Wouldn't Have Had A Chance

Some nationalities are just known for certain things. The French deliver us great wine and cheese. Russians and Poles produce great vodka. Germans have to have beer present when supporting soccer teams or they get rowdy. Well, at least that's what Germany's national railway tells us.

Germany's national railway wasn't about to risk sending a trainload of soccer fans to a German Cup match without beer.

Federal police said Monday that the beer tap failed aboard a special train carrying Bayer Leverkusen fans to Hamburg on Saturday. The fault was discovered half an hour into the journey.

"In order not to endanger the good mood" of the passengers, railway officials halted the train in Wuppertal for 25 minutes and had a replacement part delivered by taxi, a police statement said. It added that there was no trouble among the fans.

I love the fact that they didn't want to "endanger the good mood". That's a more polite way of saying "we didn't want them to burn this motherfucker to the ground!"

It's a much different outcome than if it had happened to soccer fans in the U.S. If this had happened on an Amtrak train here they would have kept on going and everyone would have just blamed David Beckham.

Don't Say That Warren Sapp Didn't Warn You

Last year Warren Sapp revealed that he had been poisoned while eating meals on the road. It appears that a similar case of food poisoning may have struck the Norwich City soccer team.

Norwich City's preparations for the new second division season have been hit by vomiting and diarrhoea following a social event for players, staff and their families.

Four players were among some 30 people taken ill following a barbecue at the club's training ground on Sunday. The club said in a statement it had contacted the local environmental health authorities about the incident.

I'm actually surprised that this doesn't happen a bit more often with how overzealous some fans can be. I guess that's just proof of how good the quality control is with respect to the food that the players are eating. Or maybe the teams have learned from Emperor Claudius, and they employ trustworthy food tasters.

Horrible Tragedy Involving Iraqi Soccer Fans

Iraqis have experienced many tragedies over the past few years. Their country has been at war for over four years, and frequent bombings, explosions and kidnappings have become commonplace. However, it seemed that there was something that the Iraqis, at least the ones who enjoyed soccer, could find some solace in.

Their soccer team had made a strong showing in their first two games of the Asian Cup, and as the team prepared for a match against two-time champion South Korea their fans prepared too(via Deadspin).

"Iraqi fans have been stocking up on gasoline and ammunition in preparation for their national soccer team's Asian Cup semi-final against South Korea on Wednesday.

Ibrahim al-Musawi said he had already brought 20 litres of gasoline to make sure he could fuel his small generator to watch the whole match as Iraq's national power grid provides electricity for only a few hours a day.

'This is one of the strongest Iraqi sides ever and they fill us with pride,' Musawi told Reuters.

'We are tired of the sadness that always surrounds us. I sometimes wish we are always playing in international tournaments so we can remain happy."

Unfortunately, that happiness was bittersweet even after a victory over South Korea that put the Iraqi team into the finals. While thousands of people were celebrating in the streets, two suicide bombers blew themselves up in separate attacks killing 50 people and wounding 136 more.

"Two suicide bombers struck soccer fans celebrating Iraq's victory in the Asian Cup on Wednesday, killing at least 50 and wounding 136, the Iraqi Interior Ministry said.

The victims were among the thousands who took to the streets of the capital after the country's national soccer team beat South Korea to reach the tournament's final.

The first attack took place about 6:30 p.m. when a bomber exploded in a crowd of people cheering near a well-known ice cream parlor in Baghdad's western neighborhood of Mansour, according to police and hospital officials.

Another suicide car bomber detonated his payload about 45 minutes later in the midst of dozens of vehicles filled with revelers near an Iraqi army checkpoint in the eastern district of Ghadeer."

That is horrible to hear. I can't imagine fearing for my life after celebrating the Gators win over Ohio State this past January. It's something that we take for granted everyday, and my heart goes out to the Iraqi fans that were supporting their team and lost their lives in the process.

FYI, Iraq meets Saudi Arabia in the final in Jakarta on Sunday.

A Prime Example Of The Disparity Between the U.S. Men's and Women's World Cup Teams

This story is a few days old, but it's something that I wanted to cover before the week ended. Last weekend the new jerseys for the U.S. women's World Cup team were unveiled, and they turned out to be gold. Apparently, since the team is #1 in the world, and because they were somewhat upset in the last World Cup by Germany in the semifinals, they've started using the slogan "Take Back The Gold" and decided that gold jerseys would be the perfect compliment.

"This is a statement Nike and the rest of us are taking on," scoring leader Abby Wambach said Thursday at the first public showing of the uniform. "We believe we can win the World Cup. Seeing how we're No. 1 in the world, we're going into this tournament with all the confidence in the world."

Say what you will about the possibility of being perceived as arrogant, but the Women's National Team(WNT) has the hardware and stats to back it up.

In 22 years, they've won two World Cups('91 & '99), two Olympic Tournaments('96 & '04), five Algarve Cups('00, '03, '04, '05, '07), three CONCACAF Gold Cups('00, '02, '06), and since coach Greg Ryan came on board in 2004 they've compiled a record of 34-0-7. That is pretty impressive regardless of the sport or sex of the participants.

Compare that to the U.S. Men's National Team.

They're currently ranked #16, and achieved their highest ranking of #4 just last year. They're never won a World Cup, and their best result was reaching the semi-finals in 1930. Their biggest success has come in the CONCACAF Gold Cup where they've won one more gold cup('91, '02, '05, '07) than the women. However, they don't have the Olympic success or current overall record to match the women.

While donning gold jerseys might come across as being a bit cocky, it's easy to see why only one U.S. national team can really get away with it and it's not the men.

As Long As He Doesn't Imitate Maradona's Eating Habits Or Drug Use He Should Be Ok

Lionel Messi, a midfielder/striker for Barcelona's first team, has been called Diego Maradona's "successor" by even Maradona himself. Yesterday, he took that comparison to a new level.

During Argentina's quarter-final match against England in the 1986 World Cup, Maradona cut to the goal and got to the ball before goalkeeper Peter Shilton. Maradona hit the ball with his left hand, and knocked it into the net without the referee having seen the illegal touch. It has subsequently been named "The Hand of God" goal.

Yesterday against rival Espanyol, Messi sprinted towards the goal, jumped for an attempted header and knocked the ball into the net with his left hand. The referee in his match did not see the illegal touch either. His goal has been dubbed "The Hand of God: Volume 2".

For comparison, Maradona's goal is first, and Messi's follows.





And, one of the reasons Messi has been compared to Maradona is his "replication" of Maradona's "Goal Of The Century". Once again, Maradona's is first and Messi's follows.

When Employing Medieval Crowd Control Techniques Goes Horribly Wrong

When we hear the word "moat" most of us probably think of castles, dragons and knights. Not soccer pitches. However, it seems that the moat is being used as a crowd control tool at South American soccer stadiums, and sometimes the consequences can be deadly.

"A FAN of Brazil club Gremio has died in hospital after falling into the moat at the Olimpico stadium before a home Libertadores Cup match with Sao Paulo.

The victim, named as 21-year-old medical student Wiliam da Silva, was standing on a wall at the front of the crowd when he lost his balance and fell into the dry moat which surrounds the pitch, the club said.

He died in hospital of severe head injuries several hours later."

Having a dry moat surrounding the field seems a bit odd. You would think they could at least fill it with water, or maybe bubblewrap.

Unfortunately, the fan's death comes at a time when there's been increasing concern about a popular celebration called the "Avalanche". It's a wonder that no one dies when they engage in this craziness.