The Minnesota Vikings, A Great Team In Need Of A Good Quarterback

As a Dolphins fan I can sympathize with my buddy Eric that is a Vikings fan. For years it seemed like Miami was one good running back away from making a legit Super Bowl run. Then, when they finally had a solid running game, the passing game went to hell. And unfortunately it's remained that way for quite a few years(though, now the team sort of sucks all over).

Anyway, this was supposed to be Minnesota's year. The defense was revamped, and looked imposing(at least on paper), and the running game was dominant last year. However, the passing game left something to be desired, and through the first two games of the season it's still that way.

I hate to say it, but Tarvaris Jackson is not the answer at quarterback for this year's Vikings team. This team has been built to win now. Not be managed by a quarterback project that head coach Brad Childress is too proud(or stupid) to put on the shelf for at least the short term. Jackson didn't play much Division 1 football(he transferred after Matt Jones was named the starter at Arkansas), and while he does have raw talent he does not have the experience or intellect at the present time to master reading NFL defenses at the speed it requires. It's hard enough for the guys who excelled at the premier Division 1 colleges to do(*cough*Leinart*cough*), and even harder for the guys who didn't face that type of opposition week in and week out.

The bad thing is that there aren't a lot of options out there right now. Jeff Garcia may be done in Tampa, but I doubt that the Bucs are going to let him go to Minnesota. They could try to lure Jake Plummer out of retirement by offering to work out a deal for his rights. They could even try to bring back Culpepper(how much worse than T-Jack could he be?).

One thing is certain, they need to get this quarterback problem figured out immediately, or they'll end up just like my Dolphins teams that always seemed to be one piece away from being serious contenders.

Let The Hate Begin: UF vs Tennessee

So, we're officially on the second day of UF vs Tennessee week, and I thought that it would be a good time to get it going here.

After all, Percy Harvin seems to be ready for the game, so we all should be ready for the game. In fact, Mr. Harvin may be more ready for this game than any of them between 10th grade and now:

After missing the spring and most of the preseason recovering from heel surgery, Harvin said he’s 100 percent now and feeling better than he ever has in his Florida career. Better than he has in a long time.

When asked when was the last time he’s felt this good, Harvin said, “My 10th grade in high school. (The heel) has been nagging me since high school. I did the long jump and played basketball and ran track. All those years it was tearing the bone in my heel. We’ve got it all figured out now. I feel 100 times better.”

Yeah, so all of those plays where he made some moves and outran the defense? He wasn't at 100%. Including last year's Tennessee game where he had 75 yards rushing(20 of which came on the play below...down in front!) and 120 yards receiving.




Honestly, at this point the scariest thing about the Vols is Eric Berry. But he isn't going to be putting points on the scoreboard(hopefully), so he's not as threatening as a gamebreaking receiver or running back. Though, Foster and Hardesty are a good tandem.

If all goes well, the Gators will be tallying up another win against Tennessee. The fourth straight for Coach Meyer since he beat them 16-7 back in 2005.

North Korea Wanted To Get Him A Body Bag!(Literally)

This might not involve Johnny and The Karate Kid, but it's every bit as serious. Apparently, North Korean spies infiltrated the International Taekwondo Federation in the 80's, and attempted to use it as a tool to assassinate South Korean President Chun Doo Hwan.

The Korea Times quoted Choi Jung-hwa, son of the late Choi Hong-hi who founded the International Taekwondo Federation (ITF) in 1966, as saying North Korea ordered overseas ITF masters, including himself, to assassinate President Chun Doo Hwan.

"After taking control of the ITF, the North trained spies and sent them overseas, disguising them as taekwondo masters," the Korea Times quoted Choi as telling reporters on his return to South Korea on Monday after living overseas for 34 years.

The Korea Times quoted Choi as saying he plotted to kill Chun on a visit to Canada in 1982, but Canadian police got wind of the plan and Choi fled to North Korea.

Damn, it sounds like the North Koreans were planning on doing more than just sweeping the leg.

Ocho...Ah Screw It...That's A Lot Of Money

So Chad Johnson legally changed his last name to "Ocho Cinco", and thought it would be a breeze to get the NFL to allow him to sport it on the back of his jersey. Well, that plan just hit a snag. A $4+ million snag.

"Don't expect to see Chad Johnson Ocho Cinco wearing his new name on a jersey anytime soon. CNBC's Darren Rovell reports on his blog that the former Mr. Johnson would be forced to buy out the stock of the 100,000 remaining "C. Johnson" jerseys before making the switch to "Ocho Cinco". If Reebok asked Ocho Cinco to pay for the cost of making the unsold jerseys, the total could reach upwards of $4 million (or $50 million pesos)."

Haha, that is awesome. Don't get me wrong, I have enjoyed some of Johnson's antics, but lately it seems that's he grasping at straws and not doing it to solicit laughs. I have no problem with a little showboating if it's good-natured and fun, but when it borders on pathetic I like to see it get shutdown. I guess we'll have to wait and see if sporting "Ocho Cinco" on the back of his jersey is really worth that much to Chad "Hugh" Johnson.

Florida vs Hawaii, The Quasi-Live Blog

Yes, Busta, you're right. We made it...finally.



Good thing this is only a "quasi-live" blog of the Florida/Hawaii tussle since it's getting started part way through the second quarter. Oh well, better late than never, and as Kanye said "you should be honored by my lateness".

Anyway, Major Wright just gave the Gators a pick-six, and the secondary has looked pretty good. Though, it's not like Colt Brennan is still under center for Hawaii. Wright has also laid the wood on a few tackles, and if he can cover pass routes as good as he hits this season then we could see an heir to RFN's stature as "scary fuckin' safety".

Joe Haden just recovered a fumble, and UF's secondary is all over the field today. There are five of them covering sideline to sideline, so they better be blanketing a lot of turf.

Brandon James returns a punt for a TD, and there's a flag...wait...no there's not. It's a fucking miracle! Hopefully that's a sign of good things to come.

Chris Rainey for a TD. Yes, he is one of the fastest guys in college football, and it's nice to see him socring when he gets his hands on the ball.

Speed. Last season it seemed that if a defender made a mistake there was no one else to help out. So far this season, Florida's defense is swarming with DB's, LB's and D-linemen.

Real life is taking over now, so this will end the "live blog". So far, I'm pleased by what I've seen out of Florida. Hopefully, the offense can get on track a bit more because they'll need to score points and put together long drives when they start their SEC schedule.

The Wait Is Over, It's Time To Rock 'n Roll

Yes, it's been a long seven months. Yes, it's seemed more like seven years. And hell yes, college football kicks off tonight!

You get 14 games to start the season, and each one should be devoured in its own special way because you, my friends, are hungry beasts.

So head to your favorite bar, and let them know you're still alive eventhough you haven't been there in almost 28 weeks, or post up on the couch and watch from the comfort of your home. It doesn't really matter. Just soak it all in because the 2008 season will be gone before you know it.
And to rock us into the start of this season, I bring you the musical stylings of Muse and their song "Knights of Cydonia". I could draw comparisons to the lyrics or talk about the Cydonia region on Mars, but really it's posted because the track fucking rocks and the video makes me laugh. And really, that's all college football is about. Making us feel good.

Perpetrating College Football Stereotypes

Stereotypes are funny because there is always some element of truth to them. Yes, oftentimes they can be blatantly racist and/or hurtful. However, when you're pointing them out and it involves someone similar to you, then at least you're letting others know that it's ok to laugh.

For instance, I'm a graduate of the University of Florida. Over time, our fanbase, especially as it relates to football, has been known to wear a certain article of clothing. At some point, I'm not exactly sure when, this piece of clothing was considered "cool". Though, in time it gravitated more towards being associated with "redneck", "mobile home", "hick" or some other derogatory statement referencing inbreeding and stupidity. Of course, I'm referring to "jorts".

For those of you that are unaware of exactly what "jorts" are think about the attire proudly worn by at least 50%(that's a highly conservative estimate) of NASCAR fans. Yes, there's the racing hat, racing shirt(either beer or tobacco related, likely without sleeves) and the always stylish pair of jean shorts. Or, "jorts". So now you know exactly what's being discussed here, and you're ready to see just how the stereotype that "Gators Wear Jean Shorts" was being carried on last Saturday morning. Behold, the power of the "jorts"!

Unfortunately, the lighting wasn't great and I was using a camera phone, though, better equipment wouldn't have made much of a difference because based on the Gators sleeveless shirt, jorts and Gators crocs this man was important and had to move at a hurried pace.

Ahhh stereotypes, you gotta love 'em.

Finally, Some Happiness From The Jets

As a Dolphins fan(thanks for the condolences) I usually have nothing but dislike for the Jets. It's nothing personal, just that they're in the same division as Miami and facing them twice a year brings ample opportunity to foster some hatred.

However, their signing of Brett Favre resulted in the release of Chad Pennington. That release resulted in Miami signing Pennington. It also means that he'll probably be the starting quarterback for the Dolphins when they face the Jets in the first game of the season.

And how sweet would it be to see Pennington beat wonderboy Brett Favre, and hand an opening day loss to his former team and Miami's hated division rival? Honestly, if Miami only wins one game again this season I hope it's this one.

It's 5 O'Clock Somewhere - Killin' Em Softly Edition

Since it's Friday, and the end of the workweek for most people, we think that you should be provided with a post that takes the edge off so to speak. Because it's going to be random and hopefully humorous, that means that it won't always be sports related. It will also pop up at any time on Friday.

I know everyone has missed this compelling segment in my absence. Lucky for you guys it's back and better than ever. Well, maybe not better, but it doesn't suck any worse either.

Anyway, I've recently rediscovered the hilarity that is Dave Chappelle's "Killin' Em Softly" routine. The first clip has one of my favorite Chappelle bits of all time where he's talking about his friend Chip. It cracks me up everytime.



Happy Friday!

Aaaand We're Back, Just Like Brett Favre

It's been almost a month since my last post on the Sports Oasis. Chalk it up to being busy, moving to a new city, getting drunk for 30 consecutive days...whatever. The point is, the posts are back just like Brett Favre.

What's that? You didn't realize that Favre was ever gone? Well, that's understandable since he basically pulled the same semi-retirement bullshit he does every offseason just on a higher level.

When Favre announced his retirement I lauded him for going out on top. Then it became apparent that the Favre lovefest wasn't going to end anytime soon. In fact, it appeared that he wasn't even going to stay retired, and that somewhat changed my opinion that Favre had finished his career admirably.

Now, we're a little over five months from the day Favre announced his "retirement", and we get to turn on the TV and see him holding up a New York Jets jersey.

Fucking great.

You know, if this was another player, one who had never hinted at retirement or strung people along with the idea that he might not be coming back, I might could give them a pass on this. However, this is Brett "I seemingly almost retire every offseason" Favre we're talking about, and based on his prior track record regarding this matter he's handled this in the most douchetastic way possible.

Yet, if there's one small positive thing in this debacle it's that he went to the Jets. Yes, I know that my beloved Dolphins will have to face him twice this year, but I had no grand illusions of them being all that good this season. Sure, the Jets will probably beat them, but I will relish each and every interception that he throws against Miami.

Hey, this is Brett Favre we're talking about. He's good for at least two or three int's over a two game span.

So, welcome back Brett. I can't wait to see you heave passes into the arms of your opponents just like you did to close out that NFC Championship game. It's going to be sweet.