Keep The Cluck Out Of The Canal

If there is one thing that sportsfans usually are it's wacky. Whether it's some type of weird superstition, or a crazy post-game celebration us sportsfans are always coming up with unusual ways to show our support. And the fans in Japan are no different.

Competition begins on Saturday in the western Japanese metropolis famous for the "curse of the Colonel" and where the sports-crazy locals often plunge into the city's murky canal.

After the Hanshin Tigers won the Japan Series baseball in 1985, thousands of baseball fans jumped into the Dotombori canal, taking a statue of the Colonel pinched along the way with them.

The Man in White was never seen again but the Tigers have been easy to find -- extra crispy and usually at the bottom of their league ever since.

So, the sportsfans in Osaka grab the Colonel from KFC and throw him into the canal as they jump in? I guess it doesn't really matter too much since we all know he dead.

Greyhound Racing, Now With Cocaine!

I hate reading or hearing any story where animal cruelty is involved, but this one is just too bizarre not to address.

First, the main focus of the story right now is that investigators found three dead dogs at Bread Winner Kennel. Right now they have stated that "it is not known at this time precisely what the dogs died from but one can be certain that it was not natural causes and that the dogs suffered a lonely, painful death”. That's horrible by itself, but why were they there investigating in the first place?

State investigators found three dead racing greyhounds while investigating cocaine positive drug tests on dogs at the Daytona Beach Greyhound Track, according to a group that advocates for Greyhounds.

Yes, apparently greyhounds from that kennel had tested positive for cocaine at some point during their racing event at the greyhound track.

I'm not condoning this by any means, but can you imagine a greyhound on cocaine? That thing would probably be as fast as a cheetah, though its post-race jitters would be annoying as hell. The kennel trainer, Nelson Ulrich, is probably going to be severely punished(rightfully so) thanks in part to this Vick fiasco. Hopefully part of his punishment includes running from a pack of hungry greyhounds.

Vernon Maxwell Still Doesn't Grasp That Whole Child Support Thing

Vernon Maxwell has been arrested again in part because of his failure to pay child support. Apparently he turned himself in to authorities in Alachua County, Florida on Sunday because "he violated probation by not paying the state for his supervision, possessing a controlled substance and failing to pay court-ordered child support".

In case you were wondering, no, this isn't the first time he's had problems keeping up with his child support duties.

Maxwell was jailed in Jan. 2005 in Washington state after his arrest as a fugitive on an outstanding arrest warrant from Florida. He was transferred to Alachua County from Georgia in 2004 to face a felony charge of failure to pay more than $160,000 in child support.

Maxwell was later released on bond and told to stay in the county until the case was resolved. A warrant was issued for his arrest in Dec. 2004 on when he failed to appear for a hearing.

From NBA champion to child support delinquent. Though, it could be worse, he could have Michael Vick type legal problems.

High School Football, Where A Loss Really Isn't A Loss

For the most part, when there are two teams playing each other in any sport you think that either the game counts or it doesn't count for both of them. However, that's not always the case in high school football where "interstate games" often don't count for both teams.

For example, Miami Booker T. Washington asked the FHSAA to make its game against Summerville count as a regular season one. The FHSAA complied because they took "into consideration that Washington, which was 12-2 last season, had only nine regular-season games scheduled". Though, it probably also has something to do with the fact that the game is going to be nationally televised on ESPN, and the more competitive it is the better the ratings will be.

This isn't the first game this season that counts as a regular season contest for one team but not the other.

Jacksonville First Coast, which was 9-2 last season, will meet Berkeley (8-6) at 4 p.m. on ESPNU. That's a game that counts for Berkeley, but not for First Coast.

"One of the agreements we made was, we would play this game like it's playing for a state championship," said Marty Lee, First Coast's coach.

Two weeks ago, Duncan (S.C.) Byrnes -- the South Carolina power that hosts Orlando's Dr. Phillips, on Sept. 6 -- won 41-35 against Charlotte, N.C., Independence. But the loss did not end Independence's 108-game winning streak because it came in a preseason scrimmage.

On the surface these arangements don't seem too unordinary, but I wonder what other teams from these conferences think about one of their opponents getting a win for playing a team that's not "penalized" for losing. It's similar to an NFL team getting credit for a regular season win for a victory they racked up in the preseason. Obviously that wouldn't be fair to the other teams, and I'm curious if anyone has, or ever will, question the validity of these high school games.

Wal-Mart, Your New Source For Impromptu Footraces Between Blue Chippers

If you're a college football fan, then you're probably heard of Noel Devine. You might have even seen some of his highlight reels on YouTube. Things like this, where his speed and agility threaten to rip a hole in the space-time continuum.



Clips like that have, according to Wikipedia(it's a "pedia" so it has to be true!), made him an "Internet phenomenon". Wikipedia also states that "Noel has been called enigmatic, mysterious, even legendary, since clips of his on-field accomplishments began appearing on various web sites such as Sunshine Preps.net".

When he announced that he would be attending West Virginia, many people couldn't help but get excited over the prospect of having Pat White, Steve Slaton and Noel Devine on the field at the same time. It does seem rather dangerous for the Earth's rotation, but should be electrifying nonetheless.

However, one thing many of you may not know is that Devine was actually beaten in a footrace by another top running back prospect from the state of Florida, and it occured in a Wal-Mart parking of all places. Apparently, Devine put the word out that he wanted to race Chris Rainey(add him to Harvin and Thompson and Florida has its own rotation alterers), and when that got back to Rainey he strapped on his shoes and went looking for his challenger.

Legend had it that Fort Myers running back Noel Devine, a protege of Deion Sanders and a West Virginia freshman, once challenged Rainey to a race at a Wal-Mart.

The legend is true.

"I was at my home chilling and got a phone call saying Noel Devine is up there at the movies, looking for you," Rainey said. "I put on my shoes, strapped them up, went up there, found him."

Rainey beat Devine three times, he said.

Obviously, it's not the most official of races, but it does provide a good example of just how fast Chris Rainey is. So, this season when you're watching college football, and you see Noel Devine break a long run, remember that he was defeated in a Wal-Mart parking lot not once, but three times by Chris Rainey.



Now that's what I call Wal-Mart parking lot fast!

Welcome To The NFL Bobby Petrino!

Somewhat lost in all of the Michael Vick hoopla is that the Falcons team Bobby Petrino agreed to coach way back on January 8 is significantly different now. Think about it, when he arrived in Atlanta he had Michael Vick starting, one of the NFL's most sought after back-ups in Matt Schaub, a decent DE in Patrick Kerney, a solid FB in Justin Griffith and an apparently healthy running back in Warrick Dunn.

Now, Coach Petrino is looking at starting Joey Harrington with Chris Redman(and his 10 total games of experience) as the lone back-up(DJ Shockley is out for the year), thanks to Vick's desire to kill dogs and the trading of Schaub to Houston. He also lost Kerney to Seattle, Griffith to Oakland and Dunn is coming off of back surgery due to a herniated disc.

The team is quite different than the one he took over the duties as head coach for a little over seven months ago. Hopefully he puts most of that $24 million over 5 years away because this stint as an NFL head coach could burn him out forever. Or maybe he could ask to opt out of his contract since this isn't really the same team he agreed to coach, and he could head back to Louisville to re-take the head coach spot with the #11 ranked Cardinals. At least there he wouldn't have to worry about Brian Brohm torturing dogs.

What's That, Bud Selig Gave Barry Bonds Steroids?

Oh man, if even 1/10 of this were true it would be awesome. America's favorite litigious inmate(well, my favorite at least) has filed another lawsuit. This time against Barry Bonds, Bud Selig and...Hank Aaron's bat!. With defendants like that involved who needs Judge Judy for law humor?

Some of the best parts are:

"Barry Bonds and Bud Selig are in a secret conspiracy together to boost television ratings. Mr. Selig has been secretly giving Barry Bonds steroids for over 9 years under the supervision of Sammy Sosa. Mr. Selig on 2 occcations(Dec. 10th 2001, Feb. 6th 2003) met Mr. Bonds at the I-70 Steak 'n Shake, booth #11, made an under the table cream exchange, needles, HGH, as Mr. Bonds provided Mr. Selig 22 thousand for his services.

I knew Sammy was involved with steroids! Though, I had no idea he was instructing Bonds on how to use them. And an "under the table cream exchange" between Bonds and Selig? I don't think my lunch really liked me reading that.

Barry Bonds uses Hank Aaron's corked bat during ballgames. The bat has a secret chamber where Barry stores his HGH supplements.

A bat with secret chambers? Sounds like something Harry Potter would use. I always doubted that he was a non-doping wizard.

Barry Bonds on June 22, 2004, bench pressed me against my will to show off in front of his ballpark buddies. I also witnessed Mr. Bonds selling steroids to nuns.

Well, that explains why we never knew about this, Barry doesn't have any "ballpark buddies". Also, you might want to ask your local Catholic school to test their nuns for 'roids to prevent any danger of them "going yard" on your child with a ruler.

Barry Bonds used Hank Aaron's bat to crack the Liberty Bell.

Ok, the steroid stuff is one thing, but cracking the Liberty Bell?

Mr. Bonds gave mustard gas to Saddam Hussein. Part of the oil for food scandal.

Well, maybe Barry can go to work for GWB when Karl Rove leaves at the end of the month because he obviously knows where the WMD's are.

There are other interesting items in there, so you should check it out.

Oh yeah, any lawsuit filed by someone who calls himself the "White Suge Knight" has to have some truth, right?

It's 5 O'Clock Somewhere - Tropical Juice Edition

Since it's Friday, and the end of the workweek for most people, we think that you should be provided with a post that takes the edge off so to speak. Because it's going to be random and hopefully humorous, that means that it won't always be sports related. It will also pop up at any time on Friday.

As a surfer in Florida, I always look forward to hurricane season. Yes, that may seem weird, but hurricanes, and tropical storms, produce some of the best waves we see all year. I hate looking foward to something that could end up causing lots of damage and taking some lives. I pray that all of the systems end up being "fish spinners", and when a storm appears that it's going to impact land I hope that everyone in the area has heeded any and all warnings.

With that said, the east coast of Florida is set to receive some decent sized swell from Hurricane Dean late this weekend into early next week. I can't wait to ride something with a little power, since most of the recent swells have been small and weak, pushed in courtesy of the Bermuda High. Hopefully we get something even bigger later in the season from a storm that does no damage and recurves out to sea after paralelling the coast. To show how good Florida can get on Hurricane swells here's a video of Chris Ward surfing Hurricane Wilma in Miami back in '05.



Happy Friday!

PS- Please pray for everyone in the Caribbean that's going to get slammed by Dean.

Feel Free To Blame ESPN For This Super Bowl Thing

Deadspin has done a good job covering the announcement of Ryan Seacrest handling the hosting duties for the Super Bowl, and alerting us to the fact that he played safety in high school. Well, in my quest to see if there was actual footage of Seacrest doing something other than smiling awkwardly or frosting his hair, I found out that he actually hosted a program for ESPN. From Wikipedia:

During his freshman year of college, Seacrest was offered his first television hosting job as the host of an ESPN program in which athletes competed against one another for cash prizes. He left the University of Georgia without graduating.

Yahoo.com has the series listed as the "Radical Outdoor Challenge". And what do you know, I was able to track down a short clip. It does have the Sklar Brothers doing some humorous commentary since it appeared on "Cheap Seats".



Seacrest and ESPN? Sssuper!

Pick A Number, Any Number. Except For 8.

It looks like Dale Earnhardt Jr. has a decision to make regarding his car for next season. It also looks like the tension between Dale Jr. and Teresa Earnhardt will continue for the forseeable future. Junior's stepmother, Teresa, owns the rights to use the number "8" on cars run by her DEI team, and Junior's new team, Hendrick Racing, wasn't able to acquire those rights.

Hendrick was unable to reach an agreement to acquire the number from DEI, owned by Earnhardt's stepmother, Teresa Earnhardt. Family history with "8" dates to Earnhardt's grandfather, the late Ralph Earnhardt, and has been carried by Junior for his entire Nextel Cup career.

DEI had first right of refusal to continue its lease of the number from NASCAR, which technically owns all numbers assigned to cars.

So Dale Jr., who has been using the number eight for quite a few years, and chose it because his grandfather had used it, won't be allowed to use it next season. And it sounds like Hendrick Motorsports did their best to secure the rights, but that Teresa Earnhardt wasn't willing to budge.

"Obviously, he has a tremendous history with that number, and we know how important it is to his fans. Unfortunately, we couldn't reach a point where the terms made sense, and now we have to move forward with other options."

I have a feeling that when Marshall Carlson, general manager of Hendrick Motorsports, says "we couldn't reach a point where the terms made sense" what he really means is "Teresa Earnhardt wouldn't stop being a bitch for a few minutes to let Dale Jr. keep his old number".

And for those of you that, like me, thought he could just take over his dad's old #3, he would have to strike a deal with Richard Childress Racing.

The No. 3, carried by the late Dale Earnhardt Sr., remains under the control of Richard Childress Racing and has not been retired officially.

This is just another occurence that causes many NASCAR fans to dislike Teresa Earnhardt, and it will be interesting to see how Dale Jr. responds. I'm hoping that he persuades Ricky Rudd's team to let him use the #88 as a way to show his disdain for his stepmom's actions.