Why You Should Want A Woman To Win The Indy 500

This Sunday, the field at the Indianapolis 500 is going to feature something that's never been seen. No, not Al Unser, Jr. driving after a few cocktails, but three women. That's right, three women; Danica Patrick, Milka Duno and Sarah Fisher; will all be racing around Indianapolis Motor Speedway.

Now, I know some guys probably believe that women don't have any place racing in the Indy 500. They had probably hoped that none of the girls would make the field, and now that they have they're hoping that they'll be out of the race after the first few laps. Well, I'm here to tell you that that's wrong.

Sure, having women compete in this event isn't just good for women, it's also good for competition as a whole. It makes everyone raise their game, especially the guys who can't stand getting beat by a girl. Personally, I would like to see them come in first, second and third. Though, it has nothing to do with equality and competition. It has to do with milk.

In order to make this a little easier for everyone, I shall present a photo of each of our girlracers.



And then we'll let Carmen Electra demonstrate what a woman can do with milk.



Yeah, you see the guy on the couch? That's you at home watching the girls(well, maybe Sarah can just pour it on the other two) take a milkbath after winning the Indy 500. Forget the customary sipping, we want pouring damn it!

How can you not root for them if there's even the slightest possibility that something even remotely similar could occur? Remember, milk does a body good!