Friday, November 30, 2007

The T-Virus Has Spread To Brighthouse Stadium

That's right, in early September it was learned that the T-Virus had spread to Orlando, FL. Jill Valentine and Chris Redfield were dispatched to garner intel, and do their part to stop the infection. What follows is a transcript of their conversation with their superiors regarding what they found.

Valentine: Sirs, we're approaching the venue, and can hear a large crowd. It does seem that they may be infected.

Base: Good. Valentine, you and Redfield make your way close to the venue to see what the situation is like. We definitely don't need another Beaver Stadium on our hands.

Redfield: Ok, we're very close now. There are large crowds everywhere. If they spot us and realize we're not one of them we're dead for sure. Damn, this doesn't fucking look good at all.

Valentine: Redfield is right guys. This place is crawling with infected people. There would be no way for us to escape.

Base: Fuck. That's not what we wanted to hear. Ok, do your best to get us some video so we can see what we're dealing with. If it comes to it, we'll get you two outta there and just level everything.

Redfield: Video? You gotta be shitting me. Can't you hear the racket in the background? I can barely hear you guys talking. Getting any closer is suicide. Neither of us can risk getting bit.

Base: Redfield, need we remind you that you have a little sister to take care of? Now get us some damn footage!

Redfield and Valentine confer. They decide that the only way to get the footage is for one of them to infiltrate the venue, and get it covertly. Redfield volunteers to go in
Redfield: Ok, I'm heading in. I can't believe you cocksuckers talked me into this.

Base: Listen, we just need an idea of what it looks like in there. Just get in and get out.

Redfield: Yeah, easier said than done jackass. You're thousands of miles away in a fucking bunker somewhere, and I'm getting ready to put my life on the line bouncing shoulder to shoulder with these fucks.

Base: We appreciate your efforts, really we do, but we could do without the whining. Just shoot some video and get the fuck outta there.

Redfield: Ok, I've made my way through the gates. So far, so good. Damn, there are a lot of fucking people here, and it's loud as shit. There seems to be some type of sporting event going on. Ah, it's a football game.

Base: Alright, that's great. Just shoot the damn video, ok?

Refield: I'm about to make my way down into the stands. If I make it out alive, the next thing you should get is your precious fucking footage.

Redfield cautiously makes his way down into the stands, and begins recording. What you will see next is the actual footage.

Base: Oh dear God. It's much worse than we ever could have imagined. Redfield and Valentine, get the fuck outta there.

Valentine: Will do sirs.

Redfield: You don't have to ask me twice.

Yes, it appears that the T-Virus has made it's way to UCF's campus. Officials are extremely concerned about this event, and are taking the necessary precautions to limit exposure. Please stay tuned to your local news channels for updates.

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