Friday, February 01, 2008

Super Bowl Wars: The Evil Empire Strikes Back

Darth Brady, upset with his performance against Eli Manwalker and Han Plaxico, has decided to strike back with a vengeance. In the meantime, Manwalker and Han Plaxico are diagraming their next course of action. While doing so Manwalker feels faint, like the pressure to perform has become too much. That's when he hears Obi-Wan Coughlin speaking to him.

Obi-Wan: Eli..Eli..

Eli: Coach?

Obi-Wan: You have to keep your head in the game son. Quit staring at your wristwatch! Have faith in your training and trust your teammates.

Just then, Han Plaxico seemingly arrives out of nowhere and helps bail out Eli Manwalker yet again.

Soon, Darth Brady and his team engage Eli Manwalker, Han Plaxico, Strahbacca and their teammates in battle. Though, Darth Brady and the Foxborough Stormtroopers appear to be much stronger and unbeatable, Manwalker and his crew are able to achieve some success and frustrate their opponents.

Eventually, Darth Brady's commander, Emperor Belichick who is also a powerful Sith Lord, has a few choice words with him.

Darth Brady: What is the plan, master?

Emperor Belichick: There is a great disturbance on the field.

Darth Brady: I have felt it.

Belichick: Our new enemy has become powerful. His ability to utilize The Force efficiently has become evident. Is there any way we can shut him down?

Darth Brady: He will submit to defeat or die!

With that, Emperor Belichick leaves Darth Brady to continue his battle.

Meanwhile, Eli Manwalker seeks assistance. He still hasn't become fully confident in his abilities, and needs some help realizing that he can perform on the field.

Eli: Holy shit! Wellington Yarda? I thought you were dead?

Yarda: Wrong you were. I've just moved onto a different plane.

Eli: Yarda, I need help. I know that I'm capable of special things, but my lack of confidence dooms me. Well that, and the ridicule that I have to endure.

Yarda: No attention must you pay to those fucksticks young Manwalker. Look where your abilities have gotten you now. Able to defeat the Evil Empire you are.

Eli: I know that I'm capable, but I always find a way to screw things up.

Yarda: Screw this up you better not, or I'll shove this walking stick up your ass.

Eli: You're right Yarda, I can't screw this up. No one is expecting me and my teammates to win, so all the pressure is on my opponents. Thanks for helping me realize my true potential.

Yarda: Humiliate Darth Brady and Emperor Belichick you must. Help the '72 Dolphins you will.

And with that, Yarda leaves Manwalker so that he may fulfill his destiny.

Soon thereafter, Manwalker engages Darth Brady in battle yet again. While Darth Brady seems to be much more skilled and powerful, Manwalker is determined to put up a good fight.

Brady: The Force is with you young Manwalker. But you are not an SB winning Jedny just yet.

Manwalker and Brady continue to battle. This time, Manwalker is able to move freely and is consistently achieving success.

Brady: You have learned much, young one.

Manwalker: You'll find that I'm full of surprises!

Brady: Your destiny lies with me Manwalker. Obi-Wan Coughlin knew this to be true.

With that, Brady leads an attack that makes Manwalker weak. It's apparent that he's still the stronger of the two.

Brady: That was too easy. Perhaps you're not as strong as Emperor Belichick had believed.

Just then Manwalker leads his own counterattack that rivals anything he's ever done.

Brady: Most impressive. Obi-Wan Coughlin has taught you well. You've controlled your fear, now release your anger.

Manwalker and Brady continue to battle. Will Manwalker be able to defeat the powerful Darth Brady? Find out in part 2 of Super Bowl Wars: The Evil Empire Strikes Back.

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