Thursday, June 21, 2007

How To Create A Superstar Athlete? Combine 1 Part PGA Golfer, 1 Part NASCAR Driver And 2 Parts Supermodel

Yesterday's birth of Jeff Gordon's daughter might not have garnered quite as much press as the birth of Tiger Woods' son daughter(I'm an idiot) on Monday, but it was very important nonetheless.

You see, the opportunity that we have before us could very well affect sports, even the entire world for years to come. Imagine a racecar driving, golf playing phenom that can dominate the opposition, and has equally stunning physical features. Well, that's what you would get if the son daughter of Tiger and the daughter of Jeff Gordon came together to produce a sort of superhuman.

Seriously, look at the stats for each dad.

Tiger's won 12 major championships, he's the only active golfer in the top 10 in career major wins and career PGA Tour wins and he's been ranked #1 in the world for both the most consecutive weeks and total weeks.

Jeff Gordon has 79 wins in the NASCAR Nextel Series, he's won the NASCAR championship 4 times and he recently passed Dale Earnhardt for 6th place on the all-time wins list.

Now take a look at the mothers.

Tiger's wife, Elin Nordegren, is a Swedish model.

Jeff Gordon's wife, Ingrid Vandebosch, is a Belgian supermodel.

There's little doubt that the children of Tiger and Jeff will turn out to be gorgeous and talented people. Think about if all that talent and beauty was wrapped up into a single individual. They would be a marketing company's dream. Heck, they could probably even run for president with no political experience, and win on looks and charisma alone. And that's the kind of thing I'm talking about, a person who betters everyone with the decisions they make. That could very well be the combination of Sam Alexis Woods and Ella Sofia Gordon. All we need are some test tubes, race fuel and golf tees.


Simon said...

Um, Sam Alexis = Girl, so unless in 20+ years they improve upon female to female reproduction and both of the gals end up being lesbians, you're probably out of luck here.

BDoc said...

Wow, for some reason I thought that Tiger Woods had a son. Thanks for the correction.