It's 5 O'Clock Somewhere - Rock Band Edition

Since it's Friday, and the end of the workweek for most people, we think that you should be provided with a post that takes the edge off so to speak. Because it's going to be random and hopefully humorous, that means that it won't always be sports related. It will also pop up at any time on Friday.

Ok, so this is probably really behind the times, but this game seems to be pretty badass. I really need to purchase it for own my home, but before that I need to upgrade to an XBox 360. Anyone have one they would like to donate to a nextgen console starved blogger?(hey, it's worth a shot) Anyway, here's a collection of the songs split up into two videos. And I'm pretty sure that doesn't take into account the expansions that you can download, like David Bowie(am I freaking you out, man?) Sweetass sweet.





Happy Friday!

The T-Virus Has Spread To Brighthouse Stadium

That's right, in early September it was learned that the T-Virus had spread to Orlando, FL. Jill Valentine and Chris Redfield were dispatched to garner intel, and do their part to stop the infection. What follows is a transcript of their conversation with their superiors regarding what they found.

Valentine: Sirs, we're approaching the venue, and can hear a large crowd. It does seem that they may be infected.

Base: Good. Valentine, you and Redfield make your way close to the venue to see what the situation is like. We definitely don't need another Beaver Stadium on our hands.

Redfield: Ok, we're very close now. There are large crowds everywhere. If they spot us and realize we're not one of them we're dead for sure. Damn, this doesn't fucking look good at all.

Valentine: Redfield is right guys. This place is crawling with infected people. There would be no way for us to escape.

Base: Fuck. That's not what we wanted to hear. Ok, do your best to get us some video so we can see what we're dealing with. If it comes to it, we'll get you two outta there and just level everything.

Redfield: Video? You gotta be shitting me. Can't you hear the racket in the background? I can barely hear you guys talking. Getting any closer is suicide. Neither of us can risk getting bit.

Base: Redfield, need we remind you that you have a little sister to take care of? Now get us some damn footage!

Redfield and Valentine confer. They decide that the only way to get the footage is for one of them to infiltrate the venue, and get it covertly. Redfield volunteers to go in

Redfield: Ok, I'm heading in. I can't believe you cocksuckers talked me into this.

Base: Listen, we just need an idea of what it looks like in there. Just get in and get out.

Redfield: Yeah, easier said than done jackass. You're thousands of miles away in a fucking bunker somewhere, and I'm getting ready to put my life on the line bouncing shoulder to shoulder with these fucks.

Base: We appreciate your efforts, really we do, but we could do without the whining. Just shoot some video and get the fuck outta there.

Redfield: Ok, I've made my way through the gates. So far, so good. Damn, there are a lot of fucking people here, and it's loud as shit. There seems to be some type of sporting event going on. Ah, it's a football game.

Base: Alright, that's great. Just shoot the damn video, ok?

Refield: I'm about to make my way down into the stands. If I make it out alive, the next thing you should get is your precious fucking footage.

Redfield cautiously makes his way down into the stands, and begins recording. What you will see next is the actual footage.

Base: Oh dear God. It's much worse than we ever could have imagined. Redfield and Valentine, get the fuck outta there.

Valentine: Will do sirs.

Redfield: You don't have to ask me twice.

Yes, it appears that the T-Virus has made it's way to UCF's campus. Officials are extremely concerned about this event, and are taking the necessary precautions to limit exposure. Please stay tuned to your local news channels for updates.

Can Indoor Football Ever Survive In Daytona Beach?

Recently, I had heard that the Daytona Beach Thunder, formerly a WIFL team, had been purchased and was going to become an AF2 team. That has since become a reality with the Thunder becoming the Thunderbirds. That will make it the third different league that Daytona Beach has fielded a team for in the past three years. Will this one be any more successful?

From my perspective, corporate sponsorships haven't been much of a problem. It appears that businesses in the area would love for an indoor football team to achieve success, and that they have no problem supporting one. The residents of the city, however are another story. It's not that they don't want the league to succeed, it just seems that they're indifferent to it. Most already support at least one college team and an NFL team, and after devoting time and resources to being a fan of those franchises there isn't much drive to support another football team.

You see, Florida is extremely lucky in that there are NFL and college teams that cover the whole state. From South Florida to the northeast corner, and out to the panhandle you can find a team to root for. Adding another team to the mix, especially in the niche sport like indoor football is an extremely tough thing to do. It's even harder when you have successful AFL franchises in Tampa and Orlando.

The Storm and Predators consistently draw over 10,000 fans to their games. Last year, the Thunder struggled to draw over 1,000. In fact, the team "gave away more tickets than those who showed up". Indoor football just isn't a popular enough sport to support a big fanbase in this area where college and NFL football are king, and the Predators and Storm suck up whatever fans are left.

This new affiliation with the AF2 does help the Thunderbird's cause because it's a more publicized league than the AIFL or WIFL. However, even that might not be enough because their season runs in direct competition with the Orlando Predators that play just 45 minutes away.

I think that the best chance this team has to succeed is to present it as a springboard for players who want to play for either the Preds or Storm. That way, fans can support the players early in their careers, then follow them when they move onto a bigger stage. Trying to present it as the latest and greatest sports attraction just won't work in Daytona Beach where tourism and NASCAR reign, and most of the football fandom is already spoken for.

The NCAA Gets Slapped Around

For the most part, I think of the NCAA as the governing body of college sports that not many people think about, but that imposes its will sort of behind the scenes. However, on Thursday the NCAA got slapped around when the verdict in a case regarding a former University of Alabama booster was handed down.

A jury awarded $5 million Thursday to a former University of Alabama football booster who claimed the NCAA defamed him when it imposed penalties on the Crimson Tide in 2002.

The state court jury awarded Ray Keller $3 million in punitive damages, $1 million for mental anguish, $500,000 for economic loss and $500,000 for damage to reputation.

Keller, a timber dealer and fan whom the university severed ties with because of the probe, argued that the NCAA slandered and libeled him during the announcement of penalties by referring to him and others as "rogue boosters," "parasites" and "pariahs."

As with any court case, the NCAA plans to appeal the decision, and it remains to be seen how that goes. Eventhough Keller won his judgment, the damage of the violations that he contributed to still hurt the program.

The recruiting scandal cost Alabama scholarship reductions, a two-year bowl ban and five years of probation that ended earlier this year.

The more curious aspect of the incident that apparently was never resolved was how Keller's name surfaced in connection with the rule violations.

A potentially important question — how Keller’s name became public — wasn’t fully resolved despite three weeks of testimony.

The NCAA referred to Keller only as “athletic representative C” in announcing its findings against Alabama during a news conference. But Keller’s name repeatedly was used by the media, and the university sent Keller a letter telling him to keep clear of Alabama athletics.

Word said Alabama “threw Ray Keller under the bus” to avoid a potential death penalty for football, and the NCAA referred to him and two other boosters as “parasites” and “rogue boosters” who “corrupt athletes and should become pariahs” to other fans.

“These statements are not true about Ray Keller,” said Word.

But Dodd, the NCAA attorney, said Keller violated rules repeatedly and likely made his own name public by being a confidential source for reporter Cecil Hurt of The Tuscaloosa News. Keller co-signed loans for Hurt and sometimes fed him information, Dodd said.

Tuscaloosa News executive editor Doug Ray declined comment on whether Keller was a source for the newspaper.

So, the question as to whether Alabama made a "secret deal" with the NCAA to try and avoid heavy sanctions will probably never be answered. And we'll probably never know exactly how Keller's name became public. However, I do have a feeling that things like this occur involving major college football programs around the country much more often than the public is ever aware of.

Tha Doggfather Raps On Romo

You may think that you have everything covered leading up the big Packers vs. Cowboys game tonight, but I bet there's something that you haven't seen yet. Sure, you've read about the bickering between the NFL and cable companies. About the injuries that could play a factor. About Tony Romo being the heir apparent to Brett Favre's gunslinging, crowd pleasing ways. However, you probably haven't heard Snoop Dogg's take on the NFL's fastest rising quarterback.

"The people around him, he make them look good, but they make him look better."

And that's just the beginning.

It's like a real deal, this is not a promo

It's big Snoop Dog, they can compare me to Romo.

But when I bring it to you, you know you gonna go slow

Listen to me give it to you -- pause -- take the photo.

Right on. Though, I'm not sure that I agree with the part about it not being a promo. It seems that ESPN has partnered with Snoop to reach different demographics, and this is definitely a piece promoting that relationship. But that's enough analysis, Snoop has some more knowledge to drop on us!

This big Snoop Dogg on the freestyle one time,

No groove needed, proceed it -- take my time.

Do you really understand the game of football?

Hut, Hut, Hike! First down, second, third and fourth.

See Snoop Dogg, I'm usually on the basketball court,

But today I'm in the N-F-L.

Doing things for my people, because my voice does sell.

My freestyle is like a quarterback, Tony Romo,

In the pocket reading the blitz -- staying with this

Snoopy D-O, double G, I pop like Crys.

I'm so original, they love the way I flow.

I do it smooth, and I'm always on the go.

Oh, yes, indeed. Proceed to give it to y'all.

The freshest SN, double-O-P, Doggy Dogg.

So there ya go. Snoop's Romo freestyle. Now you can feel confident that no matter where you're watching the game, whether it's at home or at a crowded sportsbar because some rich guys can't work out their differences for the good of the people(thanks, dicks!), you've covered every angle of it.

Chris Henry Would Be Proud

Smush Parker, a backup guard for the Miami Heat, missed Tuesday's game against Charlotte. Though, it wasn't due to injury or illness. No, it was because he got into an altercation with a valet because he didn't have any money to retrieve his vehicle.

Smush Parker's absence from Tuesday's victory over Charlotte stemmed from a dispute earlier in the day over a valet-parking fee, according to his agent.

In his haste to make it to Tuesday morning's practice in time, agent Billy Ceisler said Parker found himself without available cash or a cash machine within walking distance, with a minor tussle ensuing to secure his keys.

There was no arrest and no charges thus far have been filed.

This is the second time in about a month that a pro athlete has had parking problems. Though, at least Chris Henry attempted to pay the guy.

Knievel And Kanye Settle Their Differences

Just about one year ago, Evil Knievel sued Kanye West over his music video for the song "Touch The Sky". At that time Knievel was quoted as saying

"the video that Kanye West put out is the most worthless piece of crap I've ever seen in my life, and he uses my image to catapult himself on the public".

But as we all know, time heals a lot of things, and apparently so do meetings in Clearwater, FL condos.

Motorcycle daredevil Evel Knievel and rap star Kanye West have worked out their legal differences over images in a 2006 music video.

Knievel said that he and West met one-on-one at his Clearwater, Fla., condominium recently. They settled a federal lawsuit over the use of Knievel's trademarked image in a popular West music video.

There's no word on what type of settlement was reached, though Knievel did say that Kanye was a "wonderful guy and quite a gentleman". Quite a change from his previous statements.

Should Notre Dame Have O'Hired O'Leary?

With this wacky season winding down it's time to take a look at one storyline that's excited some fans, and has been utterly devastating to others. I'm talking about the Notre Dame Fighting Irish, and their dismal 3-9 season.

It's been six seasons since the George O'Leary hiring controvery at Notre Dame, and many people probably have forgotten about it. However, with the team's struggles under Weis this season it provides a good platform for a game of "what might have been". In this case, we'll compare what O'Leary has done at UCF to what Weis has accomplished at Notre Dame.

In case you're not aware, O'Leary has been the head coach at UCF for a year longer than Weis has been at Notre Dame. This does give him a bit of an edge in recruiting his own players, and installing his system successfully. However, most of the numbers we'll be dealing with are percentages which should help even things out a bit more.

Winning Percentage
Weis: 22-15, 59%
O'Leary: 21-27, 43%

Bowl Games
Weis: Fiesta Bowl('05), Lost 34-30 vs. OSU; Sugar Bowl('06), Lost 41-14 vs. LSU
O'Leary: Hawaii Bowl('05), Lost 49-48(OT) vs. Nevada

Record Against Top 25 Teams
Weis: 5-9, 35%
O'Leary: 0-5, 0%

Best Record In A Season
Weis: 10-3, 2006
O'Leary: 9-3, 2007

Even with the dismal season of 2007, Weis has achieved a bit more success than O'Leary. Obviously, getting top ranked recruits to Notre Dame is a bit easier than trying to do the same at the number four or five program in the state of Florida.

However, over the past two seasons O'Leary actually has a bit better winning percentage, 54%, than Weis, 52%. He also has UCF headed to a possible conference championship, and is in line to have UCF playing in their second bowl game in four years.

Whether or not Notre Dame should have hired O'Leary despite his resume inconsistencies remains to be seen. However, if UCF duplicates the success its achieved, especially in 2007, over the next few years, and if Notre Dame continues to struggle under Weis, then some may look back and question Notre Dame's decision not to keep O'Leary back in 2001.

Naturally We Called Our Stuff "Gatorade"

I hate to bring news of another passing today, but Dr. Robert Cade, one of the inventors of Gatorade, has passed away. He was 80 years old.

Cade ultimately died from kidney failure, but not before he was able to let us all know where the term "Gatorade" came from.



R.I.P., Dr. Cade. I'll make sure to pour out a 32oz of lemon lime Gatorade for ya homie.

R.I.P., Sean Taylor

Sean Taylor, standout starting safety for the Washington Redskins, has passed away.

Taylor was shot in the leg early Monday morning at his home in Miami, and suffered damage to his femoral artery. Authorities have said that he was shot by an intruder, and that this incident may be tied to a previous break-in.

Living in Florida, I was able to watch Sean Taylor play a number of games, and you could tell from the beginning that he was a special player. He was a consistent contributor for the '01 team that won the National Championship, and followed that with outstanding seasons in '02 and '03. He had the speed to cover almost all of the field, and the power to seperate any receiver from the ball should they attempt to catch it. Those skills helped make him the #5 overall pick in the 2004 NFL Draft.

My condolences go out to his family, friends and teammates.

It's 5 O'Clock Somewhere - Monday Afternoon Edition

Yeah, this usually appears on Friday. However, with all of the festivities(beer pong, overeating, hours of retina burning football action) it didn't quite make it to the Interwebs. That might be a good thing, though because since then the Gators beat the Seminoles 45-12. There's not much to say, except that Tebow and the Gators played quite well and that he should win the Heisman. Other than that, you can check out the highlights down below.



Happy Belated Friday!

Ricky Williams Starting In His First Game Back?

The last time Ricky Williams was the starting running back for an NFL game, he scored a touchdown and the Miami Dolphins beat the New England Patriots in Foxboro. That was January 1, 2006, but Ricky's been reinstated and it looks like he's inline to be the starting back for the Dolphins' Monday Night game against the Steelers. That's right, a situation in which Williams would see action somewhat sparingly has morphed, due to injuries to the other starters(Ronnie Brown and Jesse Chatman), into Ricky probably starting tonight.

Some recent reports have stated that Chatman's ankle may have improved to the point to where he could start, but he was limited in practice all week and Williams handled most of the first-team work. So, for the sake of argument let's say that Ricky does start. What has happened between his last game and tonight?

In February 2006, the NFL announced that Williams had failed a fourth drug test. He was subsequently suspended for the entire 2006 NFL season.

Following his NFL suspension, Williams signed a contract with the Toronto Argonauts of the CFL. He rushed for 526 yards and 2 touchdowns in 11 games, but missed time due to a broken arm and an achilles tendon injury.

Since his last NFL game, in which he helped Miami beat the Patriots, the Dolphins have amassed a 6-20 record and the Patriots have gone 23-4. If there ever was a time for Ricky to make a triumphant return, this is it. Miami is on the verge of going winless for the entire 2007 season, and they need all of the help they can get.

Even if Ricky starts tonight, I'm not expecting him to run wild over the Steelers' defense, but it might provide the spark needed to get the team turned around in the right direction.

Besides, it's not like he could make them any worse.

College Football Debriefing

Each week, after all of the games have been played, I'll re-visit some of them and give my take(synonym for biased, slightly informed opinion). It's called the debriefing because whatever happened during your chosen team's game you probably felt like you were part of a crime scene, or maybe a terrorist attack. Whether you thought you were robbed by the referees, or got to witness some WMD's exploding in your stadium, this is where we'll re-open fresh wounds and examine the positives and negatives. But since we're all college football fanatics, probably mostly the negatives.

And You Thought It Couldn't Get Any Crazier
What's that? This season was already crazy enough? You had already seen everything wacky that could happen? Wrong! This weekend we got to see both #1 and #2 go down, and as a result the current BCS title game would be Missouri vs. West Virginia. LSU controlled their own fate heading into Friday's game against Arkansas, but Darren McFadden put on a one man show, and smashed the Tigers' BCS title dreams into tiny pieces that he'll fuel his fly whip with for years to come. Kansas tried to come back against Mizzou, but the hole they dug themselves into for the first three quarters proved to be too deep and their BCS title hopes were subsequently buried.

But Wait A Sec, The Craziness Might Not Be Over Yet
Both Mizzou and West Virginia, the new #1 and #2 respectively, have games left. Missouri's is against a tough Oklahoma team, the only team to beat Mizzou this season, in the Big 12 title game. Right now, they control their own destiny like another Tigers' team did this past weekend. Will they endure a similar fate? West Virginia gets a relatively easy game against Pittsburgh, and the only question should be, how many points are Slaton & White going to score? If either one loses, though Ohio State will be right back in the mix.

Yes, You're Undefeated. No, You Can't Be Ranked In The Top 2
With Kansas's loss, Hawaii became the only undefeated team left. The Warriors play Washington this Saturday, and should be able to push their record to 12-0. Unfortunately, their schedule isn't extremely tough, and they don't seem to play very well off of the island. They should finish the season with a perfect record and ranked in the top 10, and that's pretty impressive for Coach Jones and his squad.

The Best SEC Team Isn't Even Playing For The Championship
Something happened in Athens, GA after the Bulldogs returned home from a 14-35 beatdown at the hands of Tennessee. Since then, they've won 6 straight(including 3 wins against ranked teams), and have looked more impressive than LSU or Tennessee. They've also moved up to #4 in the BCS. Someone must have questioned Matt Stafford's keg tossing abilities and really fired him up.

Overtime Games Dominate The Holiday Weekend
Combined, there were 12 periods of overtime this week. Seven of them occured in two SEC games(Arkansas vs LSU, Tennessee vs UK). And the one thing they all proved was that the college version of overtime is far and away better than the crappy pro version.

My (insert respective team here) Did This Well
Caught passes from, and laid down blocks for Tim Tebow. The Mayor of Gainesville looked unstoppable on Saturday, and his receivers, backs, linemen, etc. were all a huge part of that. They overwhelmed the Seminoles on every inch of turf in "The Swamp", and had fun doing it. Tebow's broken right hand wasn't even an issue because of his teammate's efforts and production.

My (insert respective team here) Didn't Do This Well
11 penalties for 90 yards? In the last game of the season? At home? I understand that it's a rivalry game, and that things can get heated but that's still no excuse. Plus, how often is Brandon James going to have a return for touchdown nullified by a stupid penalty? It seems to happen every few games.

Heismens!
Tim Tebow deserves the Heisman. His passing and rushing stats are off the charts, and he's the reason that the Gators only have three losses. Here is his statline for the FSU game: 19-28, 262yds, 67.9%, 3TD, 0INT; 13 rushes, 89yds, 6.8ypc, 2TD. And he amassed most of that after suffering a broken right hand on his first touchdown of the game. Incredible.

Darren McFadden did his best to keep his Heisman campaign rolling. His stats for the LSU game were: 32 rushes, 206yds, 6.4avg, 3TD; 3-6, 34yds, 1 pass TD. Yes, he can run and pass, and eventhough Arkansas is fairly one dimensional(Jones is a good back as well, though), McFadden put the team on his back and ran wild over LSU.

Possibly fueled by his Doak Walker snub, Kevin Smith ran strong against UTEP and went over 2,000 rushing yards for the season on Saturday. His statline from the game: 46 rushes, 219yds, 4.8avg, 1TD; 3 receptions, 30yds. It's a shame that he wasn't a finalist for the Doak Walker award because his numbers on the season rival, at the very least, Mike Hart and possibly Ray Rice.

Consider yourself debriefed!

The PGA Tour, Still Working To Capture The Teen Girl Demographic

The Michelle Wie experiment really hasn't panned out for the PGA Tour. Her failure to achieve any type of success in the PGA events that she's played in hasn't helped draw in many teenage girls. But have no fear, a big star is here to save the PGA's day, and he definitely appeals to that demographic more than anyone else. Or at least he did a few years ago.

That's right, Justin Timberlake is joining forces with the PGA Tour, and he's even getting his very own tournament.

The biggest event of the 2008 PGA Tour season will not be the Masters.

It won't be the U.S. Open. The PGA Championship takes a back seat.

British Schmitish.

All of them aren't sexy enough.

If sexiness equals dollars, then we're talking about the Justin Timberlake Shriners Hospitals for Children Open in October at TPC-Summerlin in Las Vegas.

Yep, the lowly Fall Series is taking off thanks to a pop-culture phenomenon who announced last week he will host the event with a concert. He's also playing in the pro-am.

All that, and a Timberlake concert? Tickets for that event are going to be harder to come by than ones for a Hannah Montana show(right Mr. Aikman?).

Maybe Tiger can find another singing partner, and join JT onstage during "SexyBack". I'm personally nominating John Daly right now.

Didn't Kevin Smith Deserve A Doak Invite?

Most of the time when you mention the name "Kevin Smith" people instantly think of the "movie guy"(Clerks-yaaah, Jersey Girl-booo). However, this year they should think about the Kevin Smith who plays running back for the UCF Knights. Though, if they don't, then they're probably in good company because the selection committee obviously didn't either when announcing the award's finalists.

On Monday, they whittled the list down from 10 semifinalists to 3 finalists. They are:

Mike Hart, Michigan
Darren McFadden, Arkansas
Ray Rice, Rutgers

On the surface, those might seem like great candidates, but if you check out the stats a little deeper you'll find that a case can be made for Smith's inclusion.

First, let's examine the type of defenses that the three finalists and Smith faced over the course of the season. These are stats reflecting average yards per game, and an average of total touchdowns allowed by all of the teams that each back ran against.

Hart: 147 yds/gm, 16 total TD's
McFadden: 185yds/gm, 20 total TD's
Rice: 153 yds/gm, 15 total TD's
Smith: 177 yds/gm, 18 total TD's

As you can see, Smith's averages stack up in line with the finalists. That's a good indication that the stats he's racked up at this point aren't inflated compared to the other three runners.

What about when they've faced some of the stronger teams? Here's how the four have fared when they faced opponents that were ranked at the time.

Hart: vs. Penn St.-44 rushes/153yds/3.5avg/1TD; OSU-18 rushes/44yds/2.4avg/0TD
[Average: 31 rushes/98yds/2.9avg, 1 total TD]

McFadden: vs. Kentucky-29 rushes/173yds/6.0avg/1TD; Auburn-17 rushes/43yds/2.5avg/0TD; South Carolina-35 rushes/323yds/9.2avg/1TD; Tennessee-22 rushes/117yds/5.3avg/0TD [Average: 25 rushes/164yds/5.7avg, 2 total TD]

Rice: vs. Cincy-34 rushes/94yds/2.8avg/1TD; USF-39 rushes/181yds/4.6avg/0TD; WVU-30 rushes/142yds/4.7avg/0TD; UConn-21 rushes/116yds/5.5avg/1TD
[Average: 31 rushes/133yds/4.4avg, 2 total TD]

Smith: vs. Texas-27 rushes/149yds/5.5avg/2TD; USF-18 rushes/55yds/3.1avg/0TD
[Average: 22 rushes/102yds/4.3avg, 2 total TD]

Once again, Smith's performed about the same as the other backs when facing ranked teams. In fact, only Darren McFadden seems to be far above the others in terms of average yards and yards per rush, but he doesn't have any more rushing TD's than Smith does against ranked opponents.

So, with all of those stats in mind, check out what each back has done up to this point in the season.

Mike Hart(9 games): 233 rushes/1232yds/136.9ypg/5.3avg/12TD

McFadden(11 games): 272 rushes/1519yds/138.1ypg/5.6avg/12TD

Rice(11 games): 315 rushes/1612yds/146.5ypg/5.1avg/17TD

Smith(11 games): 330 rushes/1945yds/176.8ypg/5.9avg/24TD

Kevin Smith destroys all of them in terms of total yards, average yards per game, average per rush and touchdowns. And keep in mind, that he's the only one out of the three that didn't face an FCS(division II) school all season. He's also played every game(*cough*Mike Hart*cough*).

When asked about not being one of the finalists despite his impressive numbers, Smith shrugged it off like he's shrugged off tacklers all season.

"Right now, we're trying to advance to the conference championship game," says Smith, the UCF junior who Saturday will likely become the first runner in state history to surpass the 2,000-yard mark in a single season. "That's what I'm about right now. You don't play football for awards. You play for your team.

"For them to mention me for the award is an accomplishment in itself. I congratulate those who [were the three finalists] for the Doak Walker Award."

Indeed, it is a great accomplishment to even be a semifinalist, but his stats tell the true story. This year, the name "Kevin Smith" should have been a finalist on the Doak Walker ballot, and not just thought of as that "movie guy".

Pacman Just Wanted To Practice His Wrestling Moves

That lovable scamp Pacman Jones may have gotten into a little trouble again this past weekend. Because when you're not "making it rain" or "wrestling" professionally, the best way to pass the time while on suspension is to mix it up with your teammates.

Titans officials are investigating an apparent altercation between suspended cornerback Pacman Jones and defensive tackle Albert Haynesworth this past weekend, Coach Jeff Fisher confirmed Monday night.

"I am looking into it right now, but I am not going to comment,'' Fisher said after the Titans lost 34-20 to the Broncos. "We will look into it more (today).''

So it appears that something happened, but no one knows the severity of it. One thing Pacman can't afford is for the police to investigate, and ultimately charge him with a crime in connection with the altercation. However, it seems that they're at least going to check it out a little bit.

Metro police spokesman Don Aaron, in Denver on Monday night, said police did not have record of an incident involving the two players and no Titans players had been arrested. Aaron said he would explore the matter in more detail upon returning to Nashville.

That's probably what Pacman doesn't want to hear. Though, it will be interesting to see what the police uncover about this incident. My guess is that Pacman was practicing his "Superfly Splash", and that Haynesworth just got in the way.

Nick Saban: Open Mouth, Insert Foot

You may recall that back when he was first hired, Nick Saban came under fire for using a slang term that many consider derogatory towards Cajuns. Well, at this week's press conference he was at it again.

Sure, when you're the highest paid Division 1 football coach, coaching a storied program like Alabama, and you lose to one of the lowest paid coaches at a school like UL Monroe(whom your predecessor beat the previous season 41-7) you're going to be pretty pissed off. However, at some point either your brain has to catch up with your mouth, or your mouth has to become so full of feet that you just stop talking.



And for those you that don't want to, or can't, watch the video here's what 'ole Dick Satan said:

"Changes in history usually occur after some kind of catastrophic event,'' Saban said during the opening remarks of his weekly news conference. "It may be 9-11, which sort of changed the spirit of America relative to catastrophic events. Pearl Harbor kind of got us ready for World War II, or whatever, and that was a catastrophic event.''

Ouch.

Of course a "football spokesman" issued a statement saying "what Coach Saban said did not correlate losing a football game with tragedy; everyone needs to understand that. He was not equating losing football games to those catastrophic events." But the damage has already been done. You would think that with $4 million per year Saban could hire someone to write his press conference speeches for him.

Lee Corso Sans Merkin

Last night, I had the opportunity to hear Lee Corso speak, and now I'm here to share some of what he bestowed upon the audience. In case you have no idea what the title means, check out Lee Corso's Merkin.

One of the earlier jewels was that whichever team lost their quarterback next would be out of the national title picture. He gave the examples of Dennis Dixon, Sam Bradford and Nate Longshore.

Corso said that Mizzou was going to beat Kansas this Saturday because Mizzou has looked good against good teams, while the Jayhawks have looked good against "creampuffs"(a step below cupcakes). He said to look for him sporting "the head" on Saturday night.

When asked about what happened with South Florida he seemed to think that better teams in front of them lost, which elevated them to an overvalued position. He now thinks that they're the "second best team in Hillsborough County". Apparently, there's an elementary school team somewhere in the County that's better(Lee's joking words, not mine).

Lee also had some advice for Les Miles regarding the Michigan job. He said that Miles should not take it because when you go back to a school where you used to play/coach it's not the same. When you achieve success at a school the first time around it's hard to ever equal that again. He listed a few examples; Spurrier, Bryant, Jackson, Beamer(and one more that escapes me right now); and said that because the list isn't longer that it's a great sign of that fact. Corso said that in 1970, right before he was slated to coach Louisville in the Pasadena Bowl, that he was approached to become the coach for Florida State. He thought it was the perfect job, but that his wife told him how hard it would be for him to go back there and be successful. It's obviously something that he's carried with him to this day.

He also said that coaching at Michigan is much more difficult than Les's "perfect situation" at LSU because at Michigan the players have to "read and write", whereas at LSU they only have to "read or write". And who did he believe the Wolverines should hire? He said Brian Kelly(coach at Cincy) has to be on the list, but that Steve Mariucci should be the guy that Michigan hires.

Corso applauded Lloyd Carr for setting up his assistants with 2-year contract extensions(the first time he could recall a team doing that) because he knew that there was a chance that he would be done at the end of the season.

With respect to Notre Dame, Corso stated that Charlie Weiss isn't going anywhere because of the contract extension he recently signed. He said that coaches should never attempt to move from the NFL to college without a good amount of prior college coaching experience, and that Weiss performed well in the NFL because of Belichik and he did well in his first and second years because of Willingham's players.

He said that the biggest problem at both Texas A&M and Clemson was a fanbase with "unrealistic expectations". He said that A&M will never beat Texas and Oklahoma, and that Clemson won't win another national title unless each respective school cheats.

When asked about the situation at Miami, Corso said that he feels that Randy Shannon is in over his head because the UM coaching gig isn't one that you can "learn on the job". He said that the Hurricanes should have hired Barry Alvarez, then moved him into the AD position when Paul Dee retired which he's slated to do in June of '08.

He said that Tebow should become the first sophomore to win the Heisman, and that he's got just about the most heart out of any player he's seen this season.

Corso said that this year the Pac-10 is the best conference because of its quarterbacks, receivers and DB's. He said that the SEC is second.

And his picks for the '08 season? Ohio State(best O-line), Florida(their young defense will be a year better), USC, West Virginia(if Slaton & White come back) and Oklahoma(said that DeMarco Murray is better than Adrian Peterson was).

So there ya go. That's about what I can remember from Lee Corso's speaking engagement. Honestly, I thought he was good, and came across as genuine, even if some of the stuff he said were sort of "no-brainers".

Michael Vick's Prison Journey Begins

Today, Michael Vick headed off to prison to begin serving whatever sentence the judge hands down at his December 10 hearing. That's right, he voluntarily went to prison early in an effort to get his time served started as soon as possible, and to possibly earn a lighter sentence because of his willingness to accept responsibility for his actions.

Right now, it's believed that Vick will be sentenced to about 1.5 years. Whatever he receives, it will take him a long way from being a #1 draft pick, and signing a 10-year $130 million contract.

College Football Debriefing

Each week, after all of the games have been played, I'll re-visit some of them and give my take(synonym for biased, slightly informed opinion). It's called the debriefing because whatever happened during your chosen team's game you probably felt like you were part of a crime scene, or maybe a terrorist attack. Whether you thought you were robbed by the referees, or got to witness some WMD's exploding in your stadium, this is where we'll re-open fresh wounds and examine the positives and negatives. But since we're all college football fanatics, probably mostly the negatives.

So Long Lloyd Carr
Something that had been rumored for a while, and set in stone a little more forcefully last week, happened this morning as Coach Lloyd Carr announced his retirement as coach of the Michigan Wolverines football team. In 13 seasons, Carr won 121 games, 5 Big Ten championships and 1 national championship. He also went 6-7 against Ohio State, and it's probably safe to assume that many of them are the saddest that Carr is retiring(don't leave, we want wins!). Like others have said, the spotlight is firmly on LSU Coach Les Miles, as he seems to be the frontrunner to replace Carr.

The Curse Of #2 Continues!
#2 ranked Oregon looked like they were heading for a shot at the BCS title against LSU, but those hopes ended along with Dennis Dixon's season in a loss to Arizona. It's sad to see a great athlete like Dixon end his Heisman hopeful season this way, but you have to give him credit for being a tough m-f'er and trying to play on a torn ACL.

Rock, Chalk, Jayhawk! In College Football?
With Oregon's loss, Kansas takes over the cursed #2 spot, and hopes to avoid the same fate that's befallen other #2's this season. It will be tough with a game against Mizzou this week, and a possible Big 12 Championship game against either Oklahoma or Texas. Their defense is strong enough to put them in position to win just about any game, but with the way this season has gone I wouldn't count out just about anything from happening.

The Mountaineers Are In The BCS Rearview Mirror
Currently at #3 in the BCS, West Virginia has a good shot at making the BCS title game. Sure, they need help in the form of a Kansas loss, and they have to hope that they don't get leapfrogged by Mizzou, but I honestly believe that the voters would like to see an LSU/WVU matchup out of what it probably going to be available. Ask any casual college football fan to name two or more players from either KU, Mizzou or WVU, and I bet that you'll get Steve Slaton & Pat White as the most common answers. Pitting them against a tough LSU defense would probably draw the most viewers, and I have a strange feeling that we'll be seeing it come January.

Another QB Injury, Another Upset
Oklahoma's Sam Bradford was knocked out early against Texas Tech, and the Sooners just couldn't get on track against the Red Raiders. Joey Halzle added two scores late, but by that time the deficit was already too large. With the loss, Oklahoma fell out of the top 5, and ended any hope of a shot at the BCS title.

Georgia Is On Fire
Georgia pulled out a win against Kentucky depsite four turnovers, and the Bulldogs racked up their fifth straight win. In that span, they've also defeated three teams that were ranked in the top 25. Should Tennessee lose next week against Kentucky, then the 'Dawgs will be heading to the UGA friendly confines of the Georgia Dome. If LSU has a choice, and they don't, I would suggest rooting for UT extremely hard on Saturday. Georgia is on a roll right now, and would probably give LSU all they could handle in an SEC title game.

My (insert respective team here) Did This Well
Scored lots of points. For the fourth time this season the Gators scored over 50 points. They tied their season high of 59 which they scored against Troy and Tennessee.

My (insert respective team here) Didn't Do This Well
Penalties once again plagued the Gators. It goes along with having a young team, but this late in the season there's no reason a team should be penalized 12 times for 75 yards in a game. Especially when they're facing an opponent that is as much of a mismatch as FAU was.

Heismens!
I've done my best all season not to campaign for Tim Tebow too much. However, on Saturday he became the first player in "modern college football" to pass for 20TD's and rush for 20TD's in the same season. He might not be the flashiest player, but without him Florida's offense doesn't perform anything like it has. He has the stats, and only his sophomore class standing is holding him back right now.

Kevin Smith, UCF. Smith is currently ranked 2nd nationally in rushing yards, and is ranked 1st in rushing TD's. This past Saturday, he ran for 177 yards on 20 carries and scored 2 TD's.

Graham Harrell, Texas Tech. With the upset win over Oklahoma Harrell showcased his passing skills. He went 47-72(yes, that's 72) for 420yds, 2TD's and 2INT's. Right now, he's got over 5,000 passing yards and has thrown 45TD's and 14INT's. Sure, Texas Tech is a pass happy offense(gross understatement), but Harrell can make all of the throws and has put up crazy numbers.

Consider yourself debriefed!

It's 5 O'Clock Somewhere - Crazy French Pilots Edition

Since it's Friday, and the end of the workweek for most people, we think that you should be provided with a post that takes the edge off so to speak. Because it's going to be random and hopefully humorous, that means that it won't always be sports related. It will also pop up at any time on Friday.

Today's installment features some crazy aerobatic maneuvers put on by some French pilots. I'm sure that they're superiors can't be too thrilled with how low they're flying those multimillion dollar machines, but it sure looks cool! Oh yeah, the techno Knight Rider theme soundtrack definitely adds to it.



Happy Friday!

Ducks Eaten By Wildcats

Sometimes you see something that is in no way related to something else, but somehow describes it perfectly. This is one of those times.


moar funny pictures

That feline represents recent giant killer, Arizona(the Wildcats) who has shattered the national title hopes of more than one school over the past few years. It encompasses all of the Arizona players, but particularly Antoine Cason who made the most of senior night by returning a punt and an interception for touchdowns.

And the ducks? Well, they represent Oregon of course. One of them is probably Dennis Dixon who unfortunately reinjured his knee early in the game and couldn't continue. Without him the Ducks were swallowed up by the Wildcats, and Dixon's Heisman hopes probably ended up in the cat's belly as well. Another one is most likely backup quarterback Brady Leaf who never seemed to get into a groove, and whose lack of mobility shutdown Oregon's strong option attack. The last little ducky represents Oregon Coach Mike Belloti who had positioned his team for a shot at the national title, but couldn't seem to adjust the offense once Dixon went out. With Dixon gone it felt like the playbook had been cut into pieces and put back together with tape and a prayer.

After last night's game, I'm not so sure that being ducky #1, suffering the longest and being eaten last is such a good thing.

Oh yeah, the crazy toys to the side? Yeah, those represent the Arizona students who "rushed" the field with over a minute left. At least they were respectful enough to stay off of it until the game was actually over.

The Florida Classic!

First, a moment of silence for Hansel Tookes, former Florida A&M athletic director and creator of the Florida Classic, who passed away yesterday. He started a great tradition, and it's sad that he won't be able to see 2007's version this Saturday. R.I.P. Coach Tookes.

As far as the game is concerned, the series between Florida A&M and Bethune Cookman College began in 1925, with it moving to a neutral site in 1978. The first site was in Tampa, and in 1997 the game was moved to the Citrus Bowl in Orlando. Currently, FAMU leads the series with a 41-14-1 record. Though, BCC has won 3 out of the last 5. The game has also passed "the Bayou Classic (Grambling/Southern) as the nation’s largest football game between two Historically Black College/University (HBCU) schools". But the game encompasses much more than football.

It's a great rivalry atmosphere, and where else could you possibly see a head coach dressed like BCC's Alvin Wyatt?

Seriously, that's pretty sweet. And when you find out he's running an offense nicknamed the "Wyattbone" it just makes it that much sweeter.

There's also a badass halftime show that features two of the most entertaining college bands in the country. Here's what the Orlando Sentinel has to say about it:

WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT MISS HALFTIME

For many fans, the game's highlight is halftime and the schools' renowned bands: FAMU's Marching 100 and B-CU's Marching Wildcats. The show can last an hour. Watch the crowd dwindle after the show.

Any game with a band display like this:



Or this:



Or this:



Or this:



Has to be a blast.

So, clear your schedule for 3:30PM tomorrow, and be prepared to be entertained.

Coach Tookes wouldn't have it any other way.

Coach Stoops Is Not Deterred By Your Crazyeyes

Coach Mark Stoops obviously didn't like what he saw lined up during this play, and was forced to call a hurried timeout. It flustered the referee, who could barely find his whistle in time, and set off one of the assistant coaches, who instantly got all Mike Singletary on some type of eye steroids.



Can anyone make out what he's saying?

ESPN, Hatin' On The Vols

Today, I logged onto my ESPN account to make my picks in the Deadspin College Pick'em league, and noticed something a bit odd. If you're unfamiliar with the league, basically you select a winning team for each of the 10 games presented then assign each one "confidence points"(a scale of 1-10) based on how sure that they'll win their game. For each game there's a summary telling you some tidbits about how each team's season is going, and how they've fared over the past few games. This is where I noticed the oddity.

As I finished reading the Kentucky/Georgia summary I realized that whoever had written it was predicting a Tennessee loss in either of their last two games. You can see in the screen capture that I underlined the word "inevitable" which is used in referencing UT losses to Vandy or Kentucky. In fact, here's the direct quote:

Georgia just has to get past the Cats and wait for the inevitable Tennessee loss to Vanderbilt or Kentucky.

And as any fan of the Matrix(You hear that Mr. Anderson?... That is the sound of inevitability... It is the sound of your death), or anyone with access to a dictionary, can tell you inevitability means:

"incapable of being avoided or evaded"

So basically they're saying that a Tennessee loss to either Vandy or Kentucky is unavoidable. That it's guaranteed. The problem with that is that the Volunteers have traditionally played pretty well against both Vanderbilt and Kentucky.

Against Vanderbilt, the Vols are 23-2 over their last 25 meetings. The most recent loss was in 2005. Prior to that, Tennessee had not lost to Vandy since 1982.

Against Kentucky, the Vols are 24-1 over the last 25 meetings. The last time they lost to the Wildcats was in 1984.

Sure, the way this season has gone anything could happen, but Tennessee losing either(or both) of its last two regular season games isn't a foregone conclusion. Though, it appears like someone out there, either through a grammatical error or because they hate the Vols, would like you think otherwise.

Welcome Back Ricky Ganja, Please Don't Screw My Fantasy Team

As you may have heard, Ricky Williams has been reinstated by the NFL. Up to this point, Dolphins Coach Cam Cameron has not made any statements regarding what the organization plans to do with Williams. They have a two week roster exemption from the time he begins practicing, and the earliest that he could play in a game would be the Monday nighter against Pittsburgh. As a Dolphins fan, and fantasy football participant, I'm torn as to whether I want to see him on the field at all this season.

Right now, the Dolphins are 0-9, and in line to get the #1 pick in the 2008 NFL draft. There are no chances of making the playoffs, and with how awful the team has been this year they need all the help they can get via the draft and free agency. Yes, their star running back, Ronnie Brown, had his season ended early by a torn ACL. And while it would be nice to see what Williams has "left in the tank", backup running back Jesse Chatman has shown that he's capable of running the ball quite well. In case you haven't noticed, this is where my fantasy football angle comes into play.

You see, I needed running back help bad on one of my fantasy teams. It's in a league that I won back-to-back a few years ago, but failed to make the playoffs last year. This season I'm poised to return to the playoffs, and was counting on Chatman to contribute in some form or fashion. With Williams returning to the Dolphins that's now in jeopardy, and since it's the Dolphins, and they've screwed most everything else up over the past few years(cough*Ted Ginn*cough), I'm pretty sure they'll do the same in this situation. I've pretty much prepared myself for Miami to play Williams, for him to steal some TD's from Chatman, for Miami to win some games and for them to lose the #1 pick. It's ok though, I'm a Dolphins fan so I'm used to being disappointed.

If I Showed You, I Would Have To Kill You

Normally being blindfolded and taken out to sea means you're going to "sleep with the fishes". However, in this case, and as you can see in the picture, it meant bringing home one big ass fish to sleep in the freezer.

A medical student who blindfolds his friends to keep his favorite offshore fishing spot secret has come up with a record-beating fish -- a warsaw grouper weighing 359.1 pounds.

The giant hauled in by J.J. Tabor of Thibodaux is 12 ounces above the previous Louisiana state record, a state biologist confirmed.


It's been cut down to fillets. The first fillet weighed 53 pounds, Tabor said.

And no, that statement about blindfolding his fishing partners is not a joke. The friend he kept in the dark on this trip has no idea where the fish was caught, though who can blame Tabor when he brings home a catch like this.

"It's J.J.'s secret," said Joey Rodrigue, a friend from Baton Rouge who joined Tabor and Tabor's father, John, on the record-making trip Saturday. "I don't even know where I was. He blindfolds us on the way out."

The fish beats the Louisiana state record by a mere 12 ounces, but was still roughly 80 pounds shy of the world record 436 pound warsaw grouper caught off of Florida in 1985.

Josh Beckett, Victim Of New England Haters?

I'm not exactly sure how many members of the Baseball Writers' Association of America are from the New England area, but my guess is there aren't many. Or maybe the ones that are from the area have just grown as tired as the rest of us have with all of the love for New England sports teams. At least that's about the only explanation I can come up with for why C.C. Sabathia trounced Josh Beckett for the AL Cy Young Award.

I can understand it being a close race, but Sabathia received 19 of the 28 first place votes and 119 total points. Beckett received 8 first place votes and finished in second with 86 total points. Here's how they stack up statistically, and this includes Beckett's two wins over Sabathia in the playoffs.

Sabathia: 19-7 record, 3.27ERA, 34 games, 4CG, 1SHO, 241IP, 238H, 94R, 86ER, 20HR, 37BB, 209SO, 1.14WHIP

Beckett: 20-7 record, 3.27ERA, 30 games, 0CG, 0SHO, 200.2IP, 189H, 76R, 73ER, 17HR, 40BB, 194SO, 1.14WHIP

Looking at those stats, you can see how a voter could go either way. Apart from Beckett's two wins against Sabathia in the playoffs they both pitched great during the season. However, there's no way that Sabathia pitched so much better than Beckett that he deserved 11 more first place votes and 33 more total points. My theory is that some people have just grown tired of hearing about the achievements of New England sports teams over the past few months, and that Josh Beckett suffered backlash from it in the form of coming in second in the AL Cy Young Voting. Besides, after giving Pedroia AL ROY honors they probably couldn't contribute anymore to the New England lovefest.

Sorry For The F-U

Deadspin provided us with the picture, and the backstory on why Wyoming Coach Joe Glenn felt it necessary to let the Utah Utes know they were his special #1 this past Saturday.

After getting his hand, especially that pesky middle finger, slapped by the Mountain West Conference Glenn has apologized for his actions.

Wyoming Coach Joe Glenn said the obscene gesture he made toward the Utah sideline during Saturday's game was "stupid of me" and vowed it would never happen again. Glenn was reprimanded by the conference, and he apologized in a statement issued through the university Monday and again on Tuesday during the weekly Mountain West Conference coaches conference call.

Ah, that sucks. I was hoping this would be the beginning of a budding MWC rivalry. Besides, if you're going to give the bird you might as well go all out, and hit them with the super finger. That's something they'll never recover from.

The University of South Carolina Pays Remembrance To Tragedy

Roughly two weeks ago, a horrible beach house fire in Ocean Isle Beach, N.C. killed seven college students, six from South Carolina and one from Clemson. Due to the severity of the tragedy, and its occurence so close to the Clemson vs. South Carolina game on November 24, the Gamecocks have canceled their annual "Tigerburn" rally.

It's a tradition that's been ongoing since 1909, and was started as a way to quell a "disagreement" after the 1902 game.

In the 1902 game, Carolina defeated Clemson 12-8, marking Carolina's first victory against Clemson since the teams' inaugural game in 1896.

The same day of the win, a local Columbia tobacco merchant displayed a transparency illustrating a crowing gamecock over a battered tiger in front of his store. Elated Carolina students marched the banner up and down Main Street, gloating over their triumph as a way to retaliate against Clemson students, who marched through Columbia with garnet and black cloth around their shoes after their previous wins against Carolina.

Carolina students planned to carry the banner in the Elks parade the next day. Clemson students swore they would steal the banner if it were part of the parade. Following this threat, Columbia authorities requested that the Carolina students not parade the banner, but the students refused.

Carolina students carried the banner in the parade, and about 400 Clemson students advanced on the Horseshoe armed with sabers and bayonets on a mission to seize the banner. But 30 Carolina students were armed with pistols and rifles and were ready to defend the banner.

But before gunshots could be fired, police arrived and a joint committee of faculty members and students from both colleges was created for peaceful negotiations.

The committee decided to burn the banner, which was responsible for provoking the hostility.

Ironically, Clemson and Carolina students stood together, side by side, during the first Tigerburn as they watched the banner turn to ashes.

It is sad that such a storied tradition won't be carried out for the game, but cancelling it shows USC's commitment to remembering the students that perished in the tragic fire. Hopefully both sides can use it as a healing mechanism, and it turns out to be a good, clean game.

College Football Debriefing

Each week, after all of the games have been played, I'll re-visit some of them and give my take(synonym for biased, slightly informed opinion). It's called the debriefing because whatever happened during your chosen team's game you probably felt like you were part of a crime scene, or maybe a terrorist attack. Whether you thought you were robbed by the referees, or got to witness some WMD's exploding in your stadium, this is where we'll re-open fresh wounds and examine the positives and negatives. But since we're all college football fanatics, probably mostly the negatives.

Down Goes Frasier!
Ok, so Ohio State losing at home to Illinois isn't quite as shocking. In fact, it's more like Roy Jones getting knocked out by Glencoffe Johnson. Surprising to see, but only because one side was overvalued based on past achievements. The Fighting Illini put on a clinic in ball control on Saturday. They ran 27 plays, including a successful 4th down conversion, in the 4th quarter. The Buckeyes ran 3. Illinois held the ball for 13:25, and OSU held it for 1:00. You can't score if you don't have the ball, and Illinois kept it away from the team formerly ranked #1.

The SEC Is Back On Top
It's the strongest conference in the world! There's so much depth that other teams drown just thinking about playing in it! They beat the hell out of each other all season, but would still whip your favorite non-SEC team! Wooo, sorry about that, forgot to turn the SEC homerism machine off. However, with the OSU loss LSU moves up to #1. Right now, we would get an LSU/Oregon matchup for the national championship. That actually seems like it would be a pretty good game. The Ducks have good speed on both sides of the ball, and Dennis Dixon can do some amazing things from the quarterback position. Though, with the way this season has been going I would advise against either fanbase buying their BCS title game tickets just yet.

The OBC Gets Click Clacked
Coach Spurrier must have had flashbacks to the 90's during Saturday's UF/South Carolina game. The Gators rolled up 51 points on his Gamecocks, and that was without the services of their most explosive playmaker, Percy Harvin. Tim Tebow scored 7 touchdowns, and rushed for 120 yards. This morning he's curing sick kids at Shands with his dashing good looks, and this afternoon he'll be turning Lake Alice into the biggest body of Hunch Punch with his sweat.

B.C. Continues to Fall
Last week it was unranked FSU. This week it was unranked Maryland. The Eagles have looked more like dodo birds in their back to back losses, and Matt Ryan's two late TD passes helped make his statline look a little more respectable. However, anyone who actually watched the game realized that anymore "Matty Heisman" this season should be punishable by a slap to the back of the head.

Kansas Is No Longer Quietly Creeping
Kansas had their game against Oklahoma State broadcast in big boy fashion, and they put on a show. They put up 529 yards of total offense, and eventhough they allowed 195 yards rushing they still won 43-28. Their defense didn't look quite as strong as it had in past games, but the offense seemed to click better. They definitely have the talent to win the Big 12, though the season finale against Missouri and a possible Big 12 title game against Oklahoma would both be good matchups.

The Orange Bowl Deserved Better
48-0? Seriously? The Hurricanes are lucky that Michael Irvin, Luther Campbell and Lamar Thomas don't show up at practice and hand out some ass whoopins. The game was over by halftime, but that final Virginia touchdown, off of the Kyle Wright fumble, illustrated perfectly how inept the UM offense has been all season. The most disappointing aspect, however might have been how lax the entire team seemed to be. There didn't seem to be much fight in them, especially not up to the level that was expected for the final Hurricanes game in such a storied venue. The Orange Bowl deserved to go out with a bang, but instead it was more like an embarrassing beatdown in front of your friends and family. This is the way it should be remembered.


My (insert respective team here) Did This Well
Well, if by "team" you mean "Tim Tebow", then they ran the ball extremely well. Tebow accounted for all 7 of the Florida touchdowns, and rushed for 120 yards on 26 carries. Outside of Tebow, Caldwell played well and it was nice to see some other receivers get involved with Harvin out.

My (insert respective team here) Didn't Do This Well
Penalties were a bit of a problem, and the defense did give up some passing yards. However, the rush defense was stout, outside of the 3 touchdowns, though the 2 sacks is indicative of the little amount of pressure they've been able to put on opposing quarterbacks this season.

Heismens!
Tim Tebow. 22-32, 304yds passing, 2TD's, 1INT, 26 rushes, 120yds rushing, 5TD's.

Pat White. 16-25, 181yds passing, 2TD's, 0INT, 24 rushes, 147yds rushing, 1TD.

Kevin Smith. 41 rushes, 320 yards, 4TD's.

Ray Rice. 34 rushes, 243 yards, 2TD's.

Consider yourself debriefed!

It's 5 O'Clock Somewhere

Since it's Friday, and the end of the workweek for most people, we think that you should be provided with a post that takes the edge off so to speak. Because it's going to be random and hopefully humorous, that means that it won't always be sports related. It will also pop up at any time on Friday.

This week we get the third installment of Meyer vs. Spurrier. It should be a good game, especially after the close one last season that could have dashed the Gators' BCS chances. In honor of that, I present you with Spurrier's Under Armour commercial. It has to be one of the best football coach related commercials ever. Thanks to the SportingOrange for putting it up a couple of months ago. Click clack!



Happy Friday!

Roger Federer Dominates The Shaving World

Roger Federer holds a number of tennis records. Today, he brought his dominance to the shaving world.

World number one Roger Federer won a four-way shave-off in Shanghai on Friday in an unusual warm-up for the Tennis Masters Cup.

Appearing at a publicity event for a vibrating razor, Federer demonstrated his skills with a blade to 1,000 youths at a Chinese coming of age ceremony.

Skills indeed. And who was Federer facing? Surely it had to be China's top shaving prospect, right?

Federer finished his appearance in downtown Shanghai by shaving alongside three baby-faced Chinese 20-year-olds, who appeared not to know one end of a razor from the other.

"You have to put water on your face," Federer advised his fellow shavers, who shook nervously under the glare of flashlights and television cameras. "Then add the shaving cream."

Ah, so it was really no different than a lot of the early tournament rounds he plays in. At least we found out that Federer would like Brad Pitt to play him if they ever make a movie about his life(riiight...).

Dressed in a charcoal suit, Federer chose "Fight Club" star Pitt over fellow Hollywood idols Johnny Depp, Matt Damon -- even Denzil Washington and Jet Lee -- to play him in a film.

"Brad Pitt did some tough movies and I'd like mine to be a tough movie too," said Federer, who will be bidding for a fourth title at the Masters Cup beginning on Sunday.

"Comedy would be fine too but I'm more a tough-guy movie kind of guy."

Yeah, a "tough movie" about a professional tennis superstar. Sounds like it would go over as well as "Rocky V" did.

The MLB Free-Agent Pool Could Get A Little Smaller

Eleven major league baseball players that are free-agents this season have been asked to speak with George Mitchell regarding his steroid investigation.

Up to 11 players from this year's free-agent class were asked to speak with George Mitchell as part of his investigation into performance-enhancing drugs in baseball.

The union's general counsel, Michael Weiner, made the statement Wednesday to agents attending a meeting in New York.

The Boston Globe's Web site Thursday reported agents were told at the meeting that 11 current free-agent players are named in Mitchell's report.

It will be interesting to see if any of this information is put out to the public. Right now, it doesn't appear that any big names are involved, and those 11 represent less than 1/10 of the free-agents that will be available. However, it would probably only take one or two even marginally popular players to be included on the list for it to be released in some fashion.

The NBA Feud

Family Feud that is. That's right, the Family Feud has signed up some NBA players and their mothers to appear on the show.

Orlando Magic star Dwight Howard will be playing the Feud.

He's one of several NBA stars taking part in the Family Feud special NBA Players vs. NBA Mothers Week. Also playing will be former Orlando Magic star and Orlando resident Grant Hill (now with the Phoenix Suns), former Magic player Cuttino Mobley (now with the L.A. Clippers) and former University of Florida star David Lee (now with the New York Knicks), as well as the Toronto Raptors' Chris Bosh and New Jersey Nets' Richard Jefferson.

The six players will face their moms -- Sheryl Howard, Janet Hill, Jackie Mobley, Susan Lee, Frieda Bosh, and Meekness LeCato.

The show, hosted by Dancing With the Stars and Seinfeld alum John O’Hurley, will air on its syndicated channels Monday through Friday, Nov. 12-Nov.16.

The money that's won goes to the nonprofit organization KaBOOM!, and the episodes should be somewhat entertaining. To do my part, I've come up with a few questions that they could use.

-Name something you ask your team's interns to do.

-What are the most popular firearms for carrying to nightclubs?

-Name the top tailors for sideline apparel.

And Tim Hardaway's personal suggestion...

-Name some NBA players that live an "alternative lifestyle".

What Do You Mean This Isn't Room Service?

Yesterday, I commented on how the sport of professional tennis had somehow become full of illicit activity and sabotage. Well, today's a new day, full of promise and more stories about possible cheating in tennis.

Czech tennis player Jan Hernych says he was approached in Russia last year and asked to lose first-round matches at ATP tournaments in Moscow and St. Petersburg.

"Someone called me from the (hotel's) reception to my room, asking whether I wanted to sell a match, if I wanted to lose," Hernych was quoted as saying in Friday's editions of the Czech Republic's biggest daily, Mlada Fronta Dnes.

"I rejected. I think that anyone who would accept it is absolutely mad," said Hernych, currently ranked 165th.

The matches allegedly involved were against Italy's Filippo Volandri at the Kremlin Cup, which Hernych won 6-1, 6-4, and against Russia's Evgeny Korolev at the St. Petersburg Open, which the Czech player won 6-7 (5), 6-4, 7-6 (7).

The fact that the people involved were trying to bribe the 165th ranked player is probably a good indication of how little influence they have, or are capable of buying, but it does make you wonder if they were able to get another player to throw their matches. And why did they want those specific matches thrown? Were Hernych's opponents from those matches already on someone's payroll, and were the individuals offering the bribe trying to help those players advance as far as possible in the tournaments in order to cash in on an even bigger payday? And eventhough Hernych wasn't offered a specific amount of money, that doesn't mean that other players haven't been.

Belgian player Gilles Elseneer said he was offered - and turned down - more than $100,000 to lose a first-round match against Potito Starace of Italy at Wimbledon in 2005.

Wow, more than $100,000? That's a pretty good chunk of change to bribe anyone with. Pretty soon people are just going to start dropping wads of cash on the baseline with a note attached.

Kevin Costner Would Like To Serenade You

The Tampa Bay Devil Rays are in the process of unveiling their new look, and do they have some great events planned to get the fans excited about it.

5:30: Fashion show featuring 18 players, manager Joe Maddon, coaches Tom Foley, Dave Martinez and Don Zimmer and ex-Rays Wade Boggs and Fred McGriff modeling new uniforms. New merchandise available for purchase.

A fashion show with the Crimedog and Wade Boggs? How much? Seriously, it has be like a $100 a ticket, right? What? It's free? Get the hell out of here! And we get the Zimmer too? Fuckin' right doggie!

Ok, now that I've got my heartrate under control what else do you have for me?

6:30: Kevin Costner and his band Modern West in concert performing original rock 'n' roll.

Now you're just fucking with me. No way that Costner is going to be there. You're serious about this too? The guy who played Wyatt Earp, Roy "Tin Cup" McAvoy and Ray Kinsella is going to be there with his band? And they're going to be kicking out some "original rock 'n' roll", (whatever the hell that means)? Sign me up twice, I'll be there buying all sorts of new Devil...oops...Rays merchandise since the old stuff was obviously what was holding the team back. Well, that and never having Kevin Costner sing "Hotel California".

This Isn't Crimeline That You're Calling

It seems like contacting a media outlet with a "tip" never ends well. Whether it's regarding highly sensitive CIA information, or youth football, you should always expect some type of backlash. Though, especially if it involves football.

A young football player, suspended last week during a controversy surrounding coaches with criminal records, is back on the field.

Tyler Patrick, 12, and his family were banned from the Azalea Bulldogs Oct. 29 after Tyler’s mother, Michelle Patrick, called the St. Petersburg Times with a tip that several of the program’s coaches had criminal records.

Her tip resulted in the suspension of her son and husband, an assistant coach for the Bulldogs’ junior varsity PeeWees. An e-mail, apparently from the Azalea Bulldogs board, said the Patricks were excluded from the program.

A board member called the Patricks Tuesday night to tell them Tyler was no longer suspended, Michelle said.

Interesting. I wonder if there's been arguing between the mother and father and the other coaches, and that's why she made the call. Although, in this article it seems like she was just concerned about the coaches' criminal records, and felt that other parents with children enrolled in the league should know about them. It also seems as if the league felt the need to retaliate instead of looking into the matter.

Tyler was initially suspended Oct. 25 as talk circulated among parents about the Times story, his parents said. The Patricks said they were given a several reasons for the suspension, including that they hadn't paid for Tyler to participate in the playoffs. But players don't pay by the game, Michelle Patrick said. She also was told she had violated a parent code of conduct, but she missed the parents meeting in which it was presented and so never signed one.

The Patricks were told the 15-member league board would decide whether Tyler could resume playing. Board members include head coach Dozier, his wife and head coach Monroe's wife.

It is somewhat telling that Coach Dozier and Coach Monroe are two of the three individuals with the criminal records, and they've got some level of influence in the decision that the league board makes. It makes that first reaction look even more suspicious.

Thankfully, it appears that Tyler will be able to play in the playoffs this weekend. Let's just hope that none of the opposing coaches instruct their players to go after him.

Tennis, Now With More Intrigue and Trickery

It used to be that tennis was the sport of gentlemen(and women). Upstanding, law-abiding citizens enjoyed playing and watching matches, and never had to worry that behind the nets there was a seedy underworld just waiting to be exposed. Then they let the players grunt and moan, and the females skirts kept getting shorter and shorter(keep going) and that was the beginning of the end.

Now, there's talk of match fixing and fines for not playing hard enough, allegations of cocaine use and possible poisonings.

The International Tennis Federation is investigating allegations that Tommy Haas was poisoned before Germany's Davis Cup match against Russia.

Haas was forced out of his match against Mikhail Youzhny with a suspected stomach virus. Russia won both reverse singles matches on Sept. 23 to win the semifinal series 3-2 and reach the Davis Cup final.

"We take this very seriously," ITF spokeswoman Barbara Travers said Wednesday. "The investigation starts today."

German teammate Alexander Waske said he was told by a Russian who manages numerous athletes that it was poisoning, not a virus. Waske didn't say who the manager was.

"He said as an aside, that it was bitter that Tommy Haas was poisoned," said Waske, who answered the man by saying that it was a virus. "Thereupon he said, 'No, they poisoned him.'"

And what is that could have been poisoned?

"I was the only one ever to order dessert or a Latte macchiato after dinner," Haas said. "If all this is true, since no one else got sick, that must have been when it happened."

The dessert or Latte macchiato? That's just playing dirty! Though, I wonder if the dessert was by chance a black and white cookie.