Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Super Bowl Wars: A New York Hope

The Sandcrawler pulls up to a homestead, and the Jawas begin showing off their captives. At first, Uncle Archie isn't impressed, but one of the droids strikes up a conversation, and quickly convinces him to purchase him and his friend.

Later on that day, the trio of Eli Manwalker and the two droids, C3PK and R2G2, are sitting in the garage.

C3PK: Oh thank the maker! This whirlpool is going to feel so good. I've got such a bad case of chokitis.

Eli Manwalker: This isn't fair. I'm never going to get any respect.

C3PK: Is there anything I could do to help?

Manwalker: Not unless you can do cosmetic surgery, or teach speech classes or give me a Super Bowl win.

C3PK: Well, I'm just a placekicker droid so I'm not very knowledgeable about such things. In fact, I don't know how to do much more than kick a ball, and sometimes I'm not even very good at that. Sorry, sir.

Manwalker: You can call me Eli.

C3PK: Well, I am C3PK, and this is my counter-part, R2G2.

Manwalker: Hello.

C3PK climbs out of the whirlpool, as Eli works on R2G2.

Manwalker: Looks like you guys have seen some action.

C3PK: Yes, I'm surprised that we're in as good condition as we are after going through what we did with the Rebellion.

Manwalker: You know of the Rebellion?

C3PK: That's how we ended up here.

Manwalker: Have you been in many battles?

C3PK: Several, though the Empire is still undefeated.

Eli notices a metal fragment stuck in R2G2, and begins to work it out of the droid. As he does, it breaks and causes R2 to project an image.

1972 Dolphins: Help us Obi-Wan Coughlin. You're our only hope.

Manwalker: What is that? Who are they?

C3PK: R2 says that they are Don Shula, Mercury Morris and Larry Csonka. Members of the undefeated '72 Dolphins.

R2 beeps and whistles.

C3PK: He says that he belongs to an Obi-Wan Coughlin. A resident of these parts.

Manwalker: Obi-Wan Coughlin? I wonder if he means old Tom Coughlin?

C3PK: Do you know who he's speaking of?

Manwalker: Well, I don't know any Obi-Wan, but old Tom lives out beyond the concrete jungle. He's kind of a crotchety old man.

Eli leaves to eat dinner, and when he returns he finds that R2G2 has scampered off to go find Obi-Wan.

C3PK: Please don't deactivate me sir. I told him not to leave. I promise that I'll perform better next time in the clutch.

Manwalker: Well, it's too late to leave now. We'll have to wait until morning. That droid is going to cause me a lot of trouble.

To be continued...

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